Big sis Rose
My big sis Rose only died four days ago and I can't stop thinking about her, the fight she put up to live right to the end, and the anger that we didn't have more time to say goodbye. Rose was diagnosed with cancer just five weeks ago after trying to get the doctors to do something for her pain for over a year. I am so angry, she visited the docs time and time again and nothing was done. In the end she had cancer in her lungs, liver, bones and brain and she had lost so much weight she struggled to be strong enough for the treatment. I knew the cancer was terminal but I didn't expect her to go so quickly, I had no one on one time with her and now only have pictures, a recent voicemail and my memories to console me. Rose was only 54 and the eldest of four girls, I am the third one and we have been very close over the years but have drifted apart recently. I don't know what to do with myself at the moment, I feel like a spare part, Rose's daughters and partner are the main focus but I feel like screaming WHAT ABOUT ME! She was mt big sis and was always there if I needed her. It is difficult to express my feelings to other family members or my other sisters as I don't what to be branded a drama queen but I miss her so much, she wasn't perfect but she was my big sis.