Blindsided by the break up - not sure how to make sense/grieve or move on

by memz
(australia)

My partner of 6 years broke up with me out of the blue a few weeks ago. He also quit his job, quit his sports team and has been having pretty intense anxiety, depression and burn out. There is another woman around, nothing has happened yet, but he says he has strong feelings for her. She has also been treating me quite rudely for the last couple of months which now adds up.

Our relationship has been an adventurous best friendship, honest, open and loving and the best relationship either of us have had, and we were just starting to try and get pregnant over the last couple of months.

He says that its been brewing for him for a few months, he is sorry he never brought it up and that he can't explain why all he knows is that in his heart it is over, he doesn't want kids with me or to grow old with me.

If he were in a really clear headspace it would be easier (maybe?) to believe its done and dusted. He seems to be smashing everything, pushing mates away, building this new connection with this woman (who is splitting from her partner at the same time and is an alcoholic) and generally just running away from everything, needing space saying he just wants to fall apart for a while.

I know I need to look after me, to take it on face value and try and move on, but I am worried about him, and I wonder if I should keep my heart open or just leave it.

We own a house together and had lots of plans.

It is hard to know how to grieve when I am not sure how to face up to it being real when he seems so confused in his life. Although he does not seem confused about wanting this to end. All he can say is sorry and that is about it.

Comments for Blindsided by the break up - not sure how to make sense/grieve or move on

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May 10, 2012
Cry and Move on
by: Anonymous

Frist you cry ,get over the hurt then let go and count your losses. HE seems to be headed down a path you won't be able to stop or fix. That relationship will not last either. Please don't be available when he shows up after that one ends. I'm so glad you didn't have children with someone so unstable emotionally.

You find someone who is more worthy of you.

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