Both Grandmas

by Marc G
(CT )

I don't know exactly what to say, except that dealing with the loss of both grandmothers on both sides of the family is extremely overwhelming. My Nana (dad's stepmother), has been around for 23 years of my life. The week that Hurricane Sandy hit, she suffered a massive stroke and passed away on November 4th, 2012. Her burial was held on December 14th since we had to wait for her family from Florida to come up to CT. Meanwhile, my other Grandma (mom's mother), started hospice care in a nursing home around December 5th. She suffered from congested heart failure and End Stage Renal disease and passed away on December 28th (the day before my mom's birthday). Since she was being cremated like my Nana, her burial will be sometime next week. It is unbelievably hard to deal with the death of one grandmother, but to lose another in a 7 week period (especially since the passing of my Grandfather back in 2005), I have to learn and except how to deal with not having my Grandparents around anymore. The most important thing in all of our lives is family. I found great comfort being with them during this difficult loss. There is strength in those who suffer multiple losses, as we are more emotionally wise and appreciate things a little more than anyone else.

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Jan 06, 2013
Both Grandmas
by: Doreen U.K.

Marc I am sorry for your loss of both your grandmothers, and your grandfather in 2005. You are right the most important thing is FAMILY. Because we were all born into one. But sadly not everyone has had a happy family experience and still grieve this loss with the loss of their parents and grandparents. Their nurturing did not give them the necessary tools one needs in life to progress. Many on this site have shown great courage and Love towards even the people who should have cared for them and didn't. Their struggles are more FRAGILE but certainly not of a lesser nature than anyone else's.
Whether multiple loss's or a single one we each feel differently. Our grief will last as long as we need it to. Which is why in coping with multiple loss's it is a good idea to see a grief counsellor so as to work out each loss in it's own way. We have a different relationship with each person we lose from our lives and we cannot grieve all the deaths together. Some people will also find themselves grieving longer and harder because they postponed their grief for a certain person because there was too much death and they couldn't cope with it all. We can even grieve more for one person than another. Not because they weren't as important. But only because of the nature of the relationship. This is why it is important and beneficial to have grief counselling. Often a lot of grief can get tangled up and one can't separate this to grieve each loss separately and they get stuck in grief. This can cause grief to last longer and other onlookers will think that one should be over their grief. It is lasting too long. And this will only cause anger and frustration in the individual grieving. Which is why I have said often on this site. Don't let anyone dictate to you how long you should grieve, and don't accept anyone saying "You should be over it by now." These are just some guidelines to help you and others reading this post.

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