Both of my Girls

by mom
(ny)

My girls both died of cystic fibrosis and the pain of not having them here is so deep that I don't know how to live.
i breath yet i am dead inside.
Girls please send me some sign of what i am supposed to do to honor you and have some peace.
i know you are safe and happy without pain and i am so grateful that you are not suffering anymore, but i miss you so much. Please guide me, all my love. Mom

Comments for Both of my Girls

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May 31, 2012
So sorry for your loss
by: Cathy

Hi , i really have no words to comfort you, losing one child is so awful and losing two, god help you to bear the loss do you have any more children i hope so. I lost my 21 year old son Brandon on 18/10/11 and even though i have three more children i just cannot go on. I will pray for you.

May 31, 2012
Your two and my two are together
by: SoSadDad

Mom, I am very sorry for the suffering you are experiencing. There are no remedies, no good answers, and lots of questions. And while I can’t know exactly what you are feeling, I’m afraid I have a much better guess than I wish to. I too have lost two daughters, our only children. My daughter Melanie, then 31, died from heart problems and a drug overdose on September 20, 2009. Then my other daughter Jennifer, 28, died on July 16, 2011, also from the same causes. I couldn’t help them. I wasn’t prepared for this, and didn’t understand it. And there was little help from the outside. After all, aren’t drug addicts just a scourge on society, and probably better off dead? I made mistakes, and maybe would do things differently if given a second chance. But I did the best I knew how to. And God bless you, you had to watch them suffer. I also agonized over my girls as the addiction took control of their minds and bodies. But you couldn’t do anything about it. And as I said, I did the best I knew how to. Let’s face it: we're in this pit of confusion, chaos and pain, and we don’t know when we’ll get out, or if we ever will. There are just no easy answers. I’m told that it becomes more bearable with time, but I’m not sure I believe that right now. Yet we do have that one comfort, knowing that all four of our girls are without pain and sorrow, without conflicts, and in the loving care of the Father.

Have you heard of the Compassionate Friends? It is an organization formed by bereaved parents to provide comfort to other bereaved parents. I don’t know how long it’s been since you lost your girls, but you have probably experienced some of your family, friends and co-workers keeping their distance from you. It’s sad but understandable. They just don’t know what to say or do. At Compassionate Friends meeting, you are surrounded by others who have experienced the deep grief that you have. They don’t judge you, and they don’t push you to do anything. Yes, it’s sad to hear all of their stories, too. But it’s good to be understood. You can find local chapters at www.compassionatefriends.org.

May God bless you!

May 30, 2012
The signs come
by: Carla

First let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I have two daughters, but one of them was murdered two years ago. I still say that I have two daughters because I her mom forever.

I would like to share with you how Heather reached out to me. The day before Thanksgiving without her my friend and I were on a 2nd floor balcony. A beautiful orange butterfly flew on my friends shoulder. I will always believe that my sign that it's Thanksgiving Mom and I am ok. Also on my first Mother's Day without her I pulled a lighter out of my purse and her name was etched on the side of it. That was like 10 months since I had lost her. That was Heather saying Mom it's Mother's Day and I am with you and I am ok. I would have been very sceptical if someone had told me that happened to them, but not anymore.

Look for the signs and they will come. God bless you and keep you.

May 30, 2012
your girls
by: Dawn

Hi I cant even begin to imagine your pain. I am so sorry for your losses that I can hardly breathe. I think some feel that just because you know or expect that you will lose someone that somehow makes it easier. I just lost my husband fighting disease for about 10 years but I cant comprehend how you must feel or as you stated, dead inside. The loss of children, please God I hope I never know that pain. I am soooo sorry for your heart. Just wanted you to know someone cares

May 30, 2012
Both of your girls
by: Anonymous

Hello my name is Lou and I am writing from St. Louis. I would like to respectfully respond to your post. I am sorry that you lost your daughters. Please try to trust that I am not trying to offend, but I must disagree with part of what you said. I cannot believe that you are in fact dead inside, though I would like to think that I understand some of the reasons why you would feel that way. You have asked for a sign from your daughters about how to honor them. I believe that you have done so very nicely by describing your love for them in your post. I believe that you also do a hundred or a thousand things to honor them every day. Probably many times by the way that you choose to treat others. You have helped me today with your post. I hope you feel that this honors your daughters, as I believe that it does. I believe that this post will help others, with its honesty and its desciption of a mothers love. I also believe that you do know how to live, and that you have more work to do, and more love to give. And that you can help others, and honor your daughters, just by being you. I also believe that many of those who need your help you have yet to meet. And I believe that you have already thought about this, and know that it is true. Please understand, I have not lost two daughters, so I won't say "I know how you feel". But I can be honest with you, and tell you how I feel about what you describe in your post. I don't always pick the right words, so forgive me if I didn't say some of this quite right. I just want to say that I want you to know that I do believe that helping others, with understanding and acceptance, is an important way to honor "both of your girls". And that your voice tells me that you continue to do a lot of that, and that you will do more. I would also say that your post says that your daughters are a fundamental part of who you are, and that you carry that with you always. And no worldly death, or eons of time, can take that away from the three of you. Thank you for reading this. Sincerely, Lou

May 30, 2012
Your Sorrow
by: Rose

I am so sorry for your loss. My breath was taken away when I read you had lost two of your daughters. I lost a daughter last year and my world came to a halt until I could function again. This is a year later and the pain is little more bearable. There is nothing so tragic as losing a child. I believe it is the greatest loss a mother can suffer..

Prayers and Blessings-feel free to email me at
rgmiramonti@sbcglobal.net to communicate or request prayer.
Rose

May 30, 2012
2 Girls
by: Wendy Evans

You must be in agony. Words are so inadequate but I wanted to send your heart a huge hug. I can not imagine living in your situation. How long have you been dealing with their absence?

May 30, 2012
My thoughts are with you
by: Donna

Ny I am so sorry for your loss, know that your girls are watching over you they feel no pain and they want you to feel better. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Huge Hug!!!! Donna

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