Branded a Widow

by Hope
(Tappahannock VA)

Yes I am a widow certainly not by choice there was no fortune gained here as in the movies. Peg me if you like as the pre-conceived notions certainly come to mind if I admit to my status.

W- Weak/ Wreckless
I- Insecure/Independant
D- Dependant/Defiant
O- One
W- Withdrawn/Wild

I am all these things and more. Branded with a W on my forehead I am now in a different prefix. Am I a Mrs? A Miss? What would Miss Manners say and by the way who cares?

As a Widow I will decide from this point on who I will be and what I will do with my life. Single by death I stand alone. Do not shun me, it is not catching. All around me will not die and shrivel up. Nor should you fear that I will take what's yours.

Loneliness is a state of mind while you decide what you want to be in the unwanted company of one. All my strengths and weaknesses will come to play as I make this new life. So fear me not, I am a widow after nothing but happiness and not yours, my own.

Comments for Branded a Widow

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Nov 19, 2010
by: Zoe

In times gone by they branded the unwanted, the slave, the harlot, the pirate those which society deemed unfit and unworthy, to be marked to warn others.

Now we find that nothing has changed. Branded a widow means that we are to be kept at a distance lest we become needy -- the one I need is gone, I prefer being alone than pretending to make conversation.

Branded a widow means we are the ones that are excluded because there is no balance to a table with only one. -- I do not want to be at your table, no party nor gathering interest me. I do not need to be reminded I am alone.

Branded a widow means weakminded women, worry we may be out for another "catch" -- foolish women, we have lost our soulmate we are not interested in another.

Branded a widow means you no longer fit, you do not belong in any of the categories that people are comfortable with.

They should learn from us, they should treasure what they have, because they could be us in the blink of an eye and no one, least of all us, wants to be widow.

Nov 19, 2010
Branded a widow
by: Mari

I agree with the comments. I always say Mrs. because I don't know what else is appropriate. I am a lonely widow but lonely for my husband.
Widowhood is not cool. It means being without the love of your life til Jesus comes back.

I handle the loneliness by being very active in my church but I have to come home at some point. But being busy does help.

I feel what everyone on this board feels. The anniversary of my husband going to be with the Lord is Monday the 22nt. What a year this has been. By the grace of God I have come through.
Life will never be the same but I will make some kind of life and stay close to the Lord.

Take care, all of you. I am glad to be a part of this board.

Nov 16, 2010
A widow too
by: Jules

Widow - I don't think I ever believed that this would be me - but that is the box I have to tick when I fill out forms etc.

It is hard to do things on your own, I just take a deep breath and go on - join in - whatever it takes. I joined the local "Lawn Bowls" club (lawn bowls is a pretty staid looking game with people dressed in white, bowling a ball that has a bias built in, down a grass green trying to get as close to a little white ball (the kitty) as possible.) But it has meant that I meet people, men and women, all ages, and join in some good, fun activities.

My latest venture is a job - working at the local truck stop, making coffees, taking food orders and taking payments through the cash register. It is only one day a week at the moment, but could lead to more - who knows, it keeps me busy - so I'll do it - I can't sit at home alone all the time, the nights are bad enough.

Better go and get some sleep, have to work tomorrow.

Nov 15, 2010
Being a Widow


If we lived closer I would love to have a natter....What's that? I assume a good chat over some hot coffee. Then we can hook up with Jules and figure out what Lawn bowls are.

I have been researching "being a widow" and all the stigma that goes with it. People see us as lonely, desperate, easy I dunno, but I do not want to be categorized when I don't know what I am yet myself.

My game plan is projects that need doing anyway and either join up for night classes or maybe the YMCA. If not, go to museums, exhibits, etc, anything to get out there. And getting out there solo is fine by me. Not ready to date but human enough to need some type of interaction.

Just get out there girl and don't let the labels bother you, it is not solely who you are. It is what happened to you. It is your past, and what you do with your future is entirely up to you.

Nov 14, 2010
by: Jen

Hi hope,

Widowhood. What an awful set up this is.
Richard was to be a lay preacher and was studying towards this with the church and at a launch of a cd in memory if him the bishop came over and said 'so your richard's widow' never thought as myself as this before that.

I have so much to say and am so full of tiredness and exhaustion and don't know where to start. This week has been the worst. Two years on and full of positive things i was and then this ice burg hit me face on and im still drowning.
I will get thro, but this far on should i be hit so hard.

Hope, your doing great and are great to chat with. Wish you lived closer and we could have a good natter..

Take care,


Nov 14, 2010
by: Anonymous

That is a very strong post and I am going to try to remember it as I struggle with my widowhood. My loving husband passed away last year and this is the toughest experience ever but your words are somewhat hopeful. I look forward to reading your posts.

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