by Lesley A. Couzens
(Pietermaritzburg, South Africa)
Strong and tall, with shoulders so broad,
bearing all that doesn’t come lightly.
Daddy lost his child today
and is sad and weary from the pain.
Being strong for all those around him,
giving a shoulder for them on to cry.
Smiling through a pain so strong,
finding it difficult and oh so long.
Wanting to weep, but showing a strength
that is constantly deep and ever solid.
Never knowing that a stray tear has escaped,
from the loving eyes full of pain.
Trusting that his family will be out of harm's way,
not able to save the life of his child.
He drowns in the heartache of memories past,
frowning with frustration of a life not saved.
Experiencing a pain that is so awfully deep,
it won’t go away and he cannot sleep.
Waiting, waiting, waiting,
but not to return to his fold,
innocently left by his darling child.
Comforting the mother of his loved one true,
through the heartache, the pain and the searching.
She’s yearning as much as he too,
shrouded by pain as deep as the ocean,
like waves crashing and pounding without an end.
Weeping in the arms of each other,
clutching tightly and grappling for fear of losing
all that is left of memories and goodness
found in the eyes of the child that was stolen by death.
Solace the feeling that lasts only a while,
Daddy is grateful for the time that he had.
Cannot accept his precious and kind child is gone,
praying and wishing for his return to his
Father that will love and miss him until the end of time.
Reeling from the darkness when times get bad,
Looking to the future living on a thread.
Feeling so helpless that he can’t give the love of his life
the child that she lost to the universe of heaven.
Quietly grieving for the loss that he feels,
showing naught to others, while repressing the need
to shout and scream by pretending it’s not real.
Frustration at the wild anger he keeps in check,
wanting it to stop to allow peace in his shattered heart.
Like a knife in his chest, so sharp like steel.
Hoping that it is a nightmare to terrible to be real.
Anger, hurt, pain, frustration, longing, sadness
Those are his feelings and thoughts everyday.
Wanting to touch his child who’s so far away,
Never knowing when this will come to pass.
His arms are empty and light, wishing that he could
take flight to gather his child from deaths door.
Accepting forever the pain and heartache,
He will take to his grave.
Patiently waiting to meet again,
The child of his loins and rid himself of the pain.
Loving his family till the end of his days.
Not wanting to leave them, but part of him did the
day he said goodbye and scattered the ashes
of the loved one unique in his own special way.
Forever the Daddy to the others he’ll be,
Not knowing when his time will be free,
To once again talk and reminisce with his
Child of the spirit life that he has lost.
by Lesley Couzens