Broken Heart x 3

by Dana Calais
(Arnaudville, Louisiana )

My Dad was a race horse trainer, breeder and owner. He worked 7 days a week 24 hours a day. He never once took time off to be with us on vacation. I can't remember him even taking a sick day. He would leave home 4am and be back 11pm (or when the last race had run). He loved his passion for horses. And he was good at it!
When my brother was old enough to be around the stables daddy would take him along. My daddy thought my brother the ends and outs of becoming a horse trainer. It's not a easy job. You can't just take off when you want. Someone has to be there to take care of these beautiful animals. They can't feed themselves.
My mother loved working she was a school bus driver, sold Avon, and many more jobs in between. She was a burst of energy. Had so much love to give. She helped so many people. I could always count on her if I needed.
It was the beginning of spring and the thoroughbred racing was on. On April 18,2007 my dad's horse (sharp pal) was racing. While in the paddock daddy helped the jokey get on his horse. While they were parading around the paddock, the horse in front of Sharp Pal was agitated. He started backing up and spooked Sharp Pal. Daddy was trying to come him down and place his arm around the buttocks. When Sharp Pal felt daddy"s arm he kicked full force with both hind legs throwing my daddy to the ground. He stopped breathing. They did CPR on him till the ambulance arrived. While in route to hospital they got a pulse. Emergency room Dr. ***eaux, was the attending physician. He told us daddy had a las rated lacerated liver, fluid in the lungs, fluid around his heart, 5-6 broken ribs, fractured cheek bone, fractured skull, and damage to the spine. Doctors told us he was not going to make it. They told us if we wanted they would call in a priest to come give him his last sacraments. That night he was in intensive care. Doctors kept us posted all night on his condition. When morning came we could see him. He was starting to improve but doctors were still cautious. He stayed in icu for 4 days. Improving everyday. On the 5 th day he was doing so well they put him in his own private room. That didn't last long. He was threatening to have blood clots so, back to icu. After being in icu 2 nights he was well enough to go back to private room. During the night he was complain his legs were hurting. Doctors said, mr Blanchard of course your legs will hurt you were kicked by a horse! They gave him a Valium to rest. The next morning doctors released him!! ??? What? You sure? So soon? We couldn't believe it! He arrived home on a Thursday afternoon. After 2 nights home he could"t take it anymore. The pain was unbearable. Daddy had a friend who is a doctor and she was visiting that Saturday morning when he said " I would like to go for a walk outside". She helped him and they walked to the end of the driveway and back inside. He sat in his recliner and passed away. The doctor ( his friend) did CPR on him till air med/ambulance arrived. It was to late. They couldn't bring him back.
We couldn't believe what just happened to us in past 10 days! We lost him, we got him back, and we lost him again.
Daddy died on April 28,2007 at 9:00am. He was 62.
My brother took over the horse training business and mom had to go on living without dad.
A year later November 1,2008 ( on daddy"s birthday) momma was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer. No! Please no! My mother is a fighter if anyone good beat this it is her! The cancer had spread to her lungs and brain. She had 6 tumors on the brain. They started radiation right away. After 2 weeks they started chemotherapy. She was in no pain. Her treatment were going very well.
On December 18, 2008 my brother was on his way home from working the horses. It was a very foggy morning. He lost control of vehicle. He flew out and his body hit a tree and the truck landed on him He was not wearing a seat belt. He was pronounced doa. He was 30 yrs old.
Having lost him, my mom was distraught. He was her baby. You not suppose to bury your kids. How, how are we going to move on? How can you start grieving for him and we are still grieving for daddy?
4 weeks later January 15, 2009 my mom lost her battle to cancer. This can't be real! No, I'm have a bad nightmare. It's impossible! What are we going to do?
It's only my sister and i left. We both have beautiful families and a niece from my brother.
Everyone says it will get better. I'm so sorry to say it doesn't. It's been 5 years for daddy and 4 yrs for momma and my brother. It's so hard. It just can't be true. How? How, do you move on? my husband tells me, if I don't move on i will die from a broken heart. I miss them so much! It's not suppose to be this way.

Comments for Broken Heart x 3

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Dec 04, 2012
Broken heart x 3
by: Anonymous

I am so truly sorry for your losses. No one should go through what happened to you. My heart goes out to you. Your dad, mom and brother. That is a lot to handle all at once. If it makes you feel any ( not better , but some understanding). My dad died last July and my brother only sibling killed him that was 2 losses). I had to handle everything my parents are divorced and I did not grow up with my mom. Then to back up my paternal aunts funneral was in January then my paternal grandmas funeral in November and my maternal grandpa died the day after thanksgiving. That's 4 deaths in less than a year. 5 losses with the loss of my brother and we buried my paternal grandpas ashes with my grandmas body and officially has a memorial service for him so it was almost 6 with all the grief my heart is so broken snd hurts so bad. I feel for you. God bless you especially getting through the holidays.

Nov 26, 2012
I'm here for you
by: Louis John Baxter


I can only imagine the pain you feel when you think about all the horrible tragedies you've had to go through.

I think Doreen is right, in that if you feel overwhelmed help is the best answer.

For me it was about redefining purpose in my life and about finding peace when I didn't see any. I turned to prayer and I turned to God. I know I will see my family again and I pray you feel the same way. It gives comfort to realize that.

If ever you need anyone to talk with, I check this site regularly now, since I've become a member of the Grief club.

Nov 25, 2012
Broken Heart x 3
by: Doreen U.K.

Dana I am so very sorry for your loss of 3 family members, Dad, Brother, Mom. NO! Life is not meant to be like this. 3 Tragedies so close to each other that you can't grieve each loss properly.
Due to what is happening in your life now you should urgently seek the support and help of a grief counsellor. You have too much to cope with to handle all on your own. Some of us have difficulty grieving one loss let alone 3 members so close in relation from the same family.
This is such a very cruel tragedy. Your loss is immense and your husband is wrong to expect you to get over this soon. Often the close members of our family e.g. a husband is not the best person to support you. It would be painfull for your husband to see you in so much pain and feeling so helpless to comfort you beyong your pain and sorrow. Choose distant and impartial people for your support as this will help you better. It is also very difficult to go through the journey of your father's recovery and then to see him suddenly die when you weren't expecting this. You won't be able to move forward from this immense tragedy without HELP. I hope that you will in the days ahead be able to come to terms with what you have to do to help you get through this sorrow and grief over the 3 very close tragedies in your life. Your brother died suddenly and this is a sudden death. Your mom died over time but this was difficult because you had to watch her knowing she was going to die. I hope you get the support you need and that life will get better for you in the days and weeks ahead.

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