Broken Leg/Broken Heart
Last Thanksgiving he fell and broke his leg. A month of misadventures in hospital found him dead. I teased him at first that he wouldn't take me dancing on our anniversary. How could we know he would die three weeks before our 43rd one. Nine months into this living hell I wonder what the new me will be. I know the old me is gone forever - it went with his spirit as I held him when his heart stopped beating. For the first two months I woke every morning to my new mantra "Still Dead." At least that has given way to "Thanks For Surviving Another Night".
We met when we were 11. Our shared history is a lifetime. Our life was a great adventure. We were very much "into each other". We loved with a passion that transcends.
The only positive I've found so far in this horrible new phase of my life is that I am so very thankful that I am the remaining half of our life. I would never ever wish this pain on him for an instant. I look at couples in a new way now. "Some day one of you will have to go through this horrible time."
My dear sweet Kent - I have wept and wailed and nothing helps. I have so much to tell you. I miss you. I'm guessing I always will. i am achingly lonely. Not so sure about the new me. - Your Sunshine