Broken

This just so isn't me. It must be true that romantic love is a neurosis & akin psychologically to hard drug addictions. I can't get over how hard this is & how i can't seem to 'function' or think clearly through situations.

I think things & realize even when i'm thinking them that they're paranoid delusions, but still i end up in tears. i try not to be annoying to my friends but it's not working, i end up whining about what he did. And maybe i could even get through it & move on but he just keeps coming back, & i can't seem to even force myself to just STOP loving him. There's an invisible grip here & he won't release me & i can't release myself.

In clearer times i've tried being healthy about the whole thing, setting boundaries, doing things on my own away from him, but it always comes back to the same thing. I'm so in love with him. When he tells me he doesn't want to end it & he loves me, everything else disappears. But he just can't stop the cruelty.

Comments for Broken

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Jul 30, 2010
Wish I could Help
by: Teresa

There are no magical words to help you see reality. It took me 7 years to leave my first control freak. Then, what did I do but marry another one. Finally at 44 years old I managed to understand that nobody could or would really love me until I loved me. I finally understood that I couldn't count on anyone but me. That was a freeing moment! I wish you the best and hope that you see things clearly in less time than it took me. If you'd like to talk I'm missteeann on yahoo

Jul 30, 2010
Broken Also
by: Brenda

I hope that you realize that love is not all it takes to make a good relationship. I know this because I stupidly stayed in a bad relationship for almost 30 years. My husband would tell me he loved me but he did not know what love was. He needed me to abuse and I let him. He is a very sick man mentally. I was sick for allowing him to abuse me. He never abused me physically because he knew I would fight back. I did not know there were other ways to be abused. I learned this after I had him put in a mental hospital.

I was told he was a sexual addict and that there was something wrong with me for putting up with him. I did love him. I married him while still in high school. I knew little about men. My mother died when I was 15 so I did not have her to talk to and my father did not want to hear about it. It took me about 2 years after his hospital stay to leave him.

I learned that a good loving relationship should have respect, consideration, and many more things than just love. I also learned that what we sometimes called love was more of a dependency. I left him and after a year met a man that treats me with so much true love that I can hardly believe it.

Search your heart, life is too short to spend it around people that do not treat us right.

Jul 29, 2010
Been there....
by: The first wife

My Ex, thank god. Was a control freak. Tried to tell me what to do, what to wear and who to see. When he couldn't do that, it turned physical, which was often. Followed by a lot of promises never fulfilled and good behavior for 2 weeks. You want to die over Love? It could go that way, you don't know, do you? Find an abuse program and others that are also controlled by what they think is Love. Start to Love and respect yourself first. Get out of this Now while you still can. He doesn't Love you, that is NOT what Love is.....HH

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