My Baby 2 days before he died
I lost my soulmate May 17 2011. For some reason I expected to be over it by now. I have lots of days where I don't get dressed or leave the house. I have family and they are very understanding and want to help, but they are also very busy. I don't know how to tell them that life isn't worth living anymore. Even though I have "good days" they are still so painful I want to scream. I understand why people used to cry and scream and pull their hair out and wear sackcloth and everything, because physical pain is so much easier to bear than the canon ball hole in my chest where my heart used to be. I don't know how to go on without my best friend. We were a team and we were supposed to have forever. He was only 58 when the cancer took him. He was diagnosed 9 months before and I was so shocked. He was always so healthy and active and I was the one in failing health. Now apparently I'm cured and he's dead. How can that be. It was supposed to be me who went first and I just can't cope with this new reality. Baby I miss you so much. Please come home.