My son is dead he had just turned 6,my wife is as well, they were taken from me, unfairly, in a car accident.
I sit in a hospital ward watching my little girl, broken, in unimaginable pain, misery fills her beautiful brown eyes. She couldn't speak but i could see her searching for her mum, I had to tell her she had died, i had to tell her her baby brother had died. The social worker told me I had to be sure that she understood, I had to ask her and tell her again the next day.
My life is over. I am broken. I will never be the person I was, he is now a stranger to me. Nothing will ever be able to fill the void that has been left. I don't want to feel anything but pain, loss, suffering, sadness.
I still have my two girls that I must care for, but I don't know how I will be able to offer them a good life.
The image of what happened to my babies haunts me, the thought of the pain inflicted on my baby boy drives me insane, he was revived, his spleen was removed to stop the internal bleeding so they could rush him to get his head operated on, they scanned his head, they sat me in a little room and told me there was nothing that could be done, they told me his brain was so swollen that if they opened his skull it would ooze out. I still don't know what injuries my wife died from.
You will never understand my pain, you cannot. I have had my share of loss in my life, I know pain and grief, I lost my Mum to cancer when I was 18 and my sister to the same killer when I was 32, we were close, I loved them both very much, but losing them, that pain, doesn't even come close to what has happened now. I wasn't broken then, I was still the same person. I just want my family back.
Everything reminds me of my little boy, everything. I feel guilty because I think of my son more then my wife. I loved her completely, I felt as though we were two parts of the same person, there was nothing her smile could not fix, that is all I needed to see to know everything was ok. I still go to txt or ring her, to let her know what has happened with Felicity during the day.
They are both back home, waiting at the funeral home, I still need to have the funeral, I haven't been able to, I am still sitting with my baby girl, she is 9, she had her little head crushed as well, both wrists broken, and her leg is broken in two places, her foot and hand also have broken bones. The doctors told me that she was on a knifes edge when she came in, she has just reactley started to talk again, but it is mostly just telling us to stop, that she is in pain, that her legs hurt.