Brother in Law dating 2 months after my sister died
My sister died two months ago, at the age of 40, after battling cancer for a year and a half. It was only the last 4 months that we knew there was no cure for her. We all grieved before and after her death. It was and still is very much too hard to even bare. I gave up my life and my job and moved across the country to care give for her during the last 10 months of her life. I moved in with her and her husband and their 4-year-old girl. I have helped raise my niece for the last year. I took the brunt of my sister’s care giving responsibilities. Before she died, I asked my brother in law if wanted me to stay, he did. I have no job options here, I have no life here, it’s a very boring place for a single 30 something to live. But, my brother in law now has a 5-year-old girl to raise, my niece, whom I adore and love to the core. However, I just discovered in the last week that he has gone onto a dating website and then he lied to me about going out with friends from work last weekend. He made the mistake of leaving his email open when I was babysitting my niece. It was open on an email for a sex hookup website! open, on the computer where my niece and I play ABC mouse!!! I was suspicious before I saw the email, because of his change in behavior, and his secretive texting and telephone calls. Then he didn’t come home from his date until the next day at 11am!!! And he stuck with his lie about being out with friends. Then he told me yesterday that women have been hitting on him and he invited one of them to come over, to the house, next weekend (on the 2 months anniversary of my sisters death). I had already told him that I would be out all evening that night. He told me he lined up a sleepover for my niece at a friends house. OK – it has been 5 days short of two months since she died. How can I live here now? I was willing to give up my life for two more years for my niece. But I can’t stay here and play nanny if my brother in law wants to move on and date again, after less than two months. I mean, my sister died at home, where we live, where he wants to bring a date. Her ashes are still in the house. I am totally behind supporting him moving on, but not for a year, or at least 6 to 8 months. But TWO months, while I am living here, sacrificing my life and career for HIM. I feel terrible for my niece, but I have to leave. I have never felt so abysmal in my life. I thought losing my sister was the hardest thing in life I would ever encounter, but seeing my brother in law do this is even harder. I thought he was the greatest guy on Earth. I was so happy with their marriage. He was, I thought, the best thing ever that happened to her. But this is horrible. Now it all seems so fake, like his devotion to her was a sham. How do we recover?