Bruce I miss you so much

by Colleen
(Edenvale, Gauteng, South Africa)

Tomorrow will be one month since Bruce died. I am feeling totally shattered. Every time I pick up a piece I drop ten pieces. I am trying to put together all the broken pieces but there is a huge piece missing that will never be replaced. The other pieces are all fragmented so even when they are all together they will always be broken.

Bruce I am missing you so much I really can not do this thing called life on my own.

Comments for Bruce I miss you so much

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Dec 18, 2010
Me
by: Pat J

Colleen,
I lost my husband two weeks ago. I have dropped 10 pounds in two weeks. I can't get the food down. My husband had been very ill but we had such hope for cardiac transplant. He fought to the end.

I feel your pain. I am in a very dark and dismal place right now. My children and friends all returned to their jobs. I left my job in July of this year to care for him. I sit and cry. I know I have to go out but I have no desire to. With Christmas approaching I want to go to bed and not wake up until January 2nd. Joe, I miss you as much as Bruce is missed. Our lives will never be the same again but I'm hoping and praying it will get better.

Dec 17, 2010
putting the pieces together
by: donna

None of us will ever be the same person that we were before we lost the love of our lives, no matter how hard we try. I know that when I feel like I just can't go on another day I can come to this site and pour my heart out. Not only do they not criticize, but they truly understand exactly what I am feeling because they have felt the same way. Please come to this site as often as necessary, do not let the overwhelming feelings get to you. I am truly sorry for your loss, please come back to this wonderful, safe place. Maybe we can all help each other pick up the pieces and create a new humpty dumpty, our new different selves.

Dec 16, 2010
You are not alone
by: Febe

I am really sorry to hear about your loss colleen, its been over four months now since my life was shattered after the death of my fiance just three month before our planned wedding. I miss him more and more everyday and the pain seems to never go away.

What got me through this far was everyday prayer for comfort, strength, peace, patience and acceptance. Everyone grieves differently but you need to grieve the way best for you, cry if you need to, i still do. Take it a day and at a time and remember that your not alone, we are here and we understand.

I will keep you in prayers and may the Almighty comfort you, always.

Dec 15, 2010
Back together
by: Zoe

You are picking up pieces as if you are putting together the same woman
She is gone
What you build now is a woman who adjusts to life without him, let the pieces fall, feel your grief and when you are ready, not before, begin to build her
She will never accept what happened
She will always have this weird walk one foot going forward one foot in the past
But to rebuild slowly
Talk to him
And talk to us we are always here
We do understand
We are here to help
Zoe

Dec 15, 2010
Bruce I miss you so much
by: Jules

Colleen - please take heart, you are not alone - we are here for you 24/7 - you can and you will make it - Bruce would want you to - remember that.

always - one step, one breath at a time - you can't pick up the pieces - you have to make a new life - a different life, because now you are different, you can't be that person again.

take care
jules

Dec 15, 2010
Yes you can
by: Judith

Colleen, when you say you can not do this alone you are wrong. You have done a month as hard as it is. Another month will follow and another. We who have been new to this all feel the same way.

Yesterday I wrote "it's becoming less hard" but an hour later I was crying my eyes out and missing him so. It lasted up until today so far. There are always going to be triggers that will send us into instant tears. It's part of the grieving process. We hope to be better and we can't rush it.

This time of year doesn't help either. We all have years of memories with our loves at Christmas and the tears will flow.

You are strong and God is there for you too.

I believe it will get better one day at a time.

Take care Colleen and know we are here for you.

Dec 15, 2010
Be patient and good to yourself
by:

Colleen,

I know the pain seems insurmountable. But know that there will be good days ahead with a few steps back now and then. In the beginning it is 3 steps forward 2 back. As long as you are progressing (it wont seem so at first) don't worry about the up and down days. I still say "I can't do this!" but those outbursts and overwhelming feelings are less as time passes.

It's only been a month it does not pass that fast so do what you need to to get through each day.

As a female beware of spending money on things you don't need or want to "feel better" I have not heard many speak of it but I was a thrift store junkie and a clearance queen.

It is short lived (that temporary good feeling) and you just have to ride this out and treat yourself with more patience.
We hear you and will 24-7.
HH

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