by Mrs Rainbow
My Aunty was my mum, from the day I was born she was there for me (through happy times and hard times, supporting me in the wonders of life).
When she was 40 she started to become depressed, not herself, changes physically and emotionally, family members were telling her to "snap out of it", I knew it was something more. For months after that I attended every doctor appointment and helped her at home, she was officially diagnosed with "Young Onset Parkinson's Disease" in 2007 aged just 42 years.
The deterioration of my Aunt happened quickly and doctors and specialists doubted her diagnosis many times, she lost her balance, then the ability to walk and talk, she became bed bound and her body locked and she had spasms. I felt so helpless.
She slipped in and out of consciousness and sadly passed away on 27th Jan 2014, just 20 mins after I visited her (I feel so guilty I wasn't there).
I had plenty of time to deal with the fact that I was going to lose her, but once it happened I'm left with a big question of "why?" She was only 49 years old and suffered for years, it makes me feel angry and I can't go one day without thinking about her and all the details of her suffering.... I want to go back to my life before she became ill and I want to be able to laugh without feeling guilty....