Buddy, I'm afraid to be alone.

by Kate
(London, Ontario, Canada)


Zevon was born on April 24th, 2009. He came into my life shortly after that, on June 25th. I remember that date, because after I came home with him I turned on the television and was bombarded with the news that Micheal Jackson had died.

Zevon was named after Warren Zevon, my favorite musical artist. I suppose, in hindsight, it was an appropriate name because both Zevon the cat and Zevon the human were taken from this earth long before their time. If life were "fair" they'd both be healthy & alive today.

I'd never been much of a cat person, I grew up around dogs and horses. But, I was feeling lonely and vulnerable after a recent heartbreak, and my small apartment that I share with two other girls did not lend itself to a dog (or a horse, for that matter.) When I met this kitty I just knew he was mine.

We almost instantly became best friends: Zevon would never leave my side whether I was cleaning, doing homework, watching television, cleaning the apartment, or sleeping. My roommates said that when I wasn't home, they never saw him: he'd go hide somewhere, either in a closet, or my room, or under my roommate's bed.

Everyone loved my kitty: my roommates, the veterinarian & everyone who worked at his office, my new boyfriend, visitors to our place. He just had so much love to give, and life was just fun for him. He never cried, or whined, he just wanted you to play with him.

Zevon died very suddenly and unexpectedly. We just found him dead on January 11 2010 under my roommate's bed. His eyes were closed, like he'd fallen asleep and fully expected to wake up again. We never even heard a peep from him.

I know I only had Zevon for a matter of months, about seven to be exact. But Zevon was the first and only kitty I have ever had, and we'd bonded instantaneously. This week, I haven't been able to concentrate or think coherently. I break down in tears when I'm not expecting to, sometimes when I'm in public, and I feel stupid. I've been lashing out at people who don't deserve it, and have dreams every single night about my kitty still being alive. I dream that he somehow came back from the dead, and everything is fine again. When I wake up I'm sad because he's still gone.

Comments for Buddy, I'm afraid to be alone.

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Jun 07, 2010
It Is Hard
by: Anonymous

I just lost my cat yesterday all of a sudden. His name was Tomy and he was only with me for about 9 months. Basically he was feral when I found him but turned into one of the sweetest cats I could ever ask for. All my friends and family have been supportive but the pain is still there.

It has been less than 24 hours since his passing but I needed to come to this site to help ease me on my grieving.

Hang in there and things will ease for you as well.

Jan 22, 2010
Zevon
by: Anonymous

I am very sorry to hear of the loss your cat, Zevon. He was a beautiful cat. I feel that perhaps he was sent to you to be loved and cared for and that is why you bonded. You can always be grateful for the time you had with Zevon and the joy he brought you. You need time to heal and there is no harm in telling people you miss Zevon. You would be surprised how much they will understand. Take care.

Jan 18, 2010
Prince Zevon
by: Down Under

Kate, my condolences on the loss of beautiful Zevon. You received a gift and were lucky to have such a warm prince for the seven months. Keep the sweet memories alive and grieve for as long as you need to. Sometimes animals are closer to our hearts than humans !! xo

Jan 17, 2010
TO KATE IN CANADA ABOUT BUDDY
by: Anonymous

KATE, I HOPE I CAN HELP YOU IN SOME SMALL WAY. I HAVE BEEN A LOVER OF ALL ANIMALS ALL MY LIFE, AND WITH THAT LOVE COMES THE FACT THAT SOMETIME
WE HAVE TO PART WITH OUR BELOVED PETS. THAT'S THE BAD THING.

BUT WOULD WE CHOOSE NOT TO LOVE THEM JUST TO BE ASSURED WE WOULDN'T SUFFER WHEN WE MUST LET THEM GO? NO. THAT'S WHY WE ALL HAVE A COMMON BOND. OUR PETS. OUR SWEET LITTLE ANIMALS THAT LOVE US WITH ALL THEIR BEING. I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. I'VE BEEN THERE. IT FEELS LIKE LIFE STOPS, BUT WE HAVE TO GO ON.

TIME WILL BRING HEALING SOMEWHAT, MY DEAR. BUT YOU'LL NEVER FORGET HIM, EVER. HE DIDN'T SUFFER. JUST REMEMBER THAT. I KNOW YOU LOVED HIM A GREAT DEAL, I CAN TELL. I LOVE MINE COMPLETELY, AND I CRY IF ONE ISN'T FEELING WELL, OR I THINK IT'S NOT. THEY ARE A PART OF OUR FAMILY.

IT HASN'T BEEN LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BEGIN TO MEND. BUT IT WILL COME. GRIEVE, REMEMBER THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT HIM, AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND ANOTHER LITTLE ONE TO LOVE. MINE IS 15 AND OUR TIME IS LIMITED. BUT I WILL LOVE HIM UNTIL THE END. AND I WILL HURT JUST LIKE YOU.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME, TALK ABOUT IT, REACHING OUT HERE WAS GOOD. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR HURT. YOU'RE NOT ALONE. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.
BLESS YOUR HEART.



Jan 17, 2010
Reflections
by: Charlene Flagg

Kate, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Buddy. I, too, recently lost a beloved pet, my "big boy" Solomon. The thing that has given me the most peace is knowing that my beloved Solomon is in heaven, and that our love permanently connects through eternity. God gave us the precious gift of animals so that we could, through our mutual love, catch but a mere glimpse of the love God has for us. And, while we don't always understand why God allows our loved ones to leave us, we can know for certainty that we will see them again.

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