Burning room
by .
I miss you so terribly. What a tease and torture it is to dream I'm home with you and to realize not only am I nowhere near home, but you're nowhere on Earth. I hate that I wasn't there, that I was far from home with limited ability and time to talk to you. It makes me feel horrible, and I know I should have been there, it is where I belonged, and where I really wanted to be. Did you know, did you know that day was the day? Could you have known? It's so hard not to be angry with God for taking you from me, and I really try not to be, but you were mine, you were ours, and he took you from us. It wasn't time. I was coming home, all I needed was that short time spared so I could just see you. 5 months away from you and as soon as I'm so close to coming home, just a mere two weeks, and you had to leave. And it breaks my heart. Everyday, my heart is still sad. You were everything to us; I wouldn't have had ANYTHING if it weren't for you. And though I truly love the dreams, the memories, the moments that remind me of you, it still stings my heart. The thing is I'd rather have that then nothing, I rather have that sting of every beautiful moment we all shared together than a blank canvas of pain. I wouldn't give up any of those things, and it warms me for moments to get gifts from our home and scents and smells that bring up memories. Wouldn't it be wonderful to control our dreams? So when I did dream of us together again, I could have conversations with you, hug you, kiss you, and just be with you. What I would give to be able to spend that time with you, even in just a dream. I'd give anything. But it still burns, and it burns, and that fire is so unbearable sometimes.
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