(Frankfort, KY )
I started at my work a little over 7 years ago. I work with a small group of women and men and most of the time we are all like family. I have never really worked in an environment where people seemed to genuinely care for one another, including their families.
About two years ago my branch manager was diagnosed with cancer. Her spleen was enlarged and they gave her medicine to treat that. She never really seemed sick at first, just a little tired. She always took everything in stride and was very happy. She went through tons and tons of treatments to what seemed no avail. The cancer would remain. (I know I am supposed to tell this, but it still makes me a little sick to stomach to think about)
My friend had to have stem cell transplant done and the dr. felt sure this would take care of the cancer. It seemed to for a little while. She started to get sick. One thing after another. Viruses, retaining fluid, high blood pressure...she was in rehab when her health declined for the last time. It all seemed to happen so quickly.
I am trying to get passed the fact that my friend and confident is gone. Each day seems a little better than before, but sometimes it is still difficult to breath, when I think of her office at work, or all the things she has given me. I feel resentful toward the colorful purple, because it was hers, and I hate to see butterflies because she loved them. People tell well you just have to go on it is a part of life, and I understand that, it is just that this part affected me to the extent that I can't really explain to anyone. I want to get over it. Believe you me. I want to be just like them! But I am not like them and I can only try to cope in ways that I know how.
My friend was a special person, but now I must find a way to let her go. Thank you for letting me tell my story. Writing seems to help.