Can hardly go on at times
I LOOKED AFER MY MUM FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS, THE LAST 5 BEING THE MOST FULL ON. MY MUM WAS A VERY PRIVATE, QUITE, SHY LADY THAT LIVED FOR NOTHING MORE THAN HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY AND A SMALL CIRLE OF FRIENDS. I WAS AWAY FOR 15 YEARS NURSING OVER SEAS THEN AS I GOT OLDER RELIZED MY MUM WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD AND LOVED ME MORE THAN EVEN SHE COULD TELL ME. Actions said more than words and Mum and i spend the last 10 years together most of the time and had contact daiky the last 4 or 5. I nursed her 24/7 for the 7 weeks following her stroke, thankgod the stroke didn't effect her mind so she knew us all. MY MUM DIED A PAINFREE, STRESSFREE DEATH ON THE 19TH SEPTEMBER 2012. SHE WAS IN MY ARMS WHEN SHE DIED AND I FELT A PART OF ME DIED THEN AS WELL. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WHAT WE SHARED AND I WILL NEVER TELL ANY ONE. SHE LOVED US ALL EQUALLY BUT AS THE ONLY DAUGHTER WE TALKED ABOUT THINGS SHE NEVER DISCUSSD WITH ANY ONE ELSE. i am single and made my life available to take good care of her. she was never alone for 1 minute during her 7 weeks in hospital before she died. it is almost 6 months now and at times i wonder how i wil ever go on. i am 50 years old this year and feel my life is almost over. No one will ever know how much i loved my mum and what we shared. I HAVE NO ONE ELSE AND WONDER IF I WILL IN FACT PUSH ON. i Miss her and the dam hurt just won't go away. THE ONLY ADVICE I HAVE IS KEEP SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF AS I DIDN'T AND I LOVED MY mum to muchreally and now i pay the price. lIFE WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. we shared everything and i miss her terribly. I never knew the sadness could be so painful, i feel like i am dieing inside of grief.