Can I do This ??

by Pat

Well, it's been 7 months since my 36yr old son completed suicide. I started a job yesterday, I am a hairstylist & with jobs being so hard to find I took a job at Supercuts. Yesterday was my first day and the reception I got from the other stylist was terrible to say the least. They are not happy about a new employee, very cold & unfriendly. My first thought was I really don't need anymore drama in my life so see ya, but I stayed, today I am going back for another round. I am still grieving my son, my grandsons are having issues over their dad's death & their mother ability to move on, my husband has breathing problems did God really put me in this situation? I would like nothing more at this point but to crawl in a hole and live out the rest of my life there. Do I really need this rejection?

Comments for Can I do This ??

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May 10, 2011
Beauty for Ashes!!
by: Dakota Blues

I am very proud of you returning to work! That is a huge step in my book. God cares for us. God allows us free will and as fallen humans - we mess up and others mess up and then...we are all a mess! This journey is so very difficult!!!

If you enjoy cutting hair I would hope that could be an excellent way to be creative. To give to others sitting in your chair - "Beauty for Ashes!"

Who doesn't need a new hair-do after burying their child?!? It took months (years?) before I finally decided I needed to try to fix-up again. I was THANKFUL for the hairdresser who could see my pain and cut my hair with compassion. I will remember that day forever.

Ignore the noise in the salon. Hopefully, it will settle down. Focus where your hands our heads. Give us Beauty for Ashes. You will lift us up and yourself.


May 04, 2011
Can I do this???
by: Zoe

You know, when we lose our beloved we get a different perspective than others, it makes us smarter, a little more sensitive to what the world really is like.
I am a manager in my office, I tell new people all the time, this is work, where you come to make money, you do not choose the people you work around, they are just there. Do not let someone throw you off of your game based on their own short sightedness or petty issues.
These people do not define you, they cannot affect your work unless you let them. It is like a school yard, they will pick until they see it does not affect you. And after what you have been through, this is nothing.
of course you can do this, Your love would be there cheering you on...
remember one breath, one step one day at a time.. that is what will get you through.
(until you get all the customers and then they will be mad.. and it will be their own fault)
and remember come back here whenever you need to
we do understand and we do care

May 04, 2011
Do what you feel is right.
by: Ruth Mattucci

It would be more than okay for you to choose to not put yourself through that kind of drama. Of course needing money sort of rules those types of things. If you have to stay there, then at least don't let them live in your head. Let them be who they are. I have learned that people act out when they are uncomfortable and sometimes don't even realize it. Try to live it one day at a time when we are grieving we are very easily upset and need to be extra nice to ourselves. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that each new day brings you closer to peace.

May 04, 2011
Yes you can do this
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry over the loss of your son. When people choose to commit suicide, there's so many questions left unanswered. The family members left behind are always asking and wondering WHY? I know, because my Mom took her own life over 20 years ago, she was only 46. I've had 2 cousins in their 20s that also took their own lives. For a long time I was scared that maybe it was something that ran in the genes. I can remember for so long, even though I loved my Mom, I was so angry with her and thought she was selfish, but she was on a lot of medications and had had problems for a lot of years. I've since forgiven her and have just come to realize that in spite of it all, it was her time. I feel so sorry for your grandchildren, I know it was so difficult to try and explain to my kids what happened to their grandmother. I've just lost my husband this past Dec., so am going through the grieving process again. Life is indeed so short.
I wish you the best with your job, hopefully something else will open up for you that will be better.
Grief is a long, slow process. It really sounds like it wouldn't be a bad idea to get the whole family into grief counseling, it'll help the kids too.
All my best ~ 1 day 1~ step

May 03, 2011
you can do it
by: Anonymous

Hi Pat.
Of course you can do it!
I know how you feel about not needing any more drama in your life, but give it the week you and see if you start developing a tolerable relationship with some of your co-workers. Some people just take a few days to get out of their comfort zone.It's not easy to be the newest person in the door, but you have survived the loss of your son and you can certainly survive working with some PMS prima donnas!!
Good Luck and let us know how you do:)

May 03, 2011
Dealing with inmaturity and grief
by: Anonymous


Your co-workers are acting like high school drama queens. The immaturity is ridiculous but a job is a job and unfortunately that attitude is in other workplaces too. You are above that nonsense. Try to ignore it and kill them with kindness. Be polite or you'll be the one they think is stuck up. Don't let it bother you, you have enough on your plate for such trivial childish crap. Bring home the money until something better comes up. You are doing your best and you should be proud of your progress.

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