Can I finally grieve?


How do we handle multiple deaths in the family? I have been trying to figure that out since this time last year. Let me tell a little about this. I was my mother's caregiver for the past nine years. During this time I was battling cancer. My mom's beloved poodle that was fourteen years old got cancer last year and had to be put to sleep, there is the first tragedy. My mother fell a week later and was taken to a hospital. One week later she had pheumonia. I took her to a different hospital and she was admitted. She remained there until January 13th,2013. They informed me there was nothing more they could do,her heart and lungs were failing and sent her home with no more than six months to live. I found her dead on the 16th at 5am. Three weeks later my brother-in-law hurt his shoulder and was hospitalized. While treating that he was diagnosed with last stage leukimea. Three weeks later he died. Within twelve weeks from that we had a cousin lose his only known dad and another of our pets. I am just now getting over the mad stage and starting to feel guilty about my mom. I wish I could just cry it all out but that hurts. I have lung problems and only my son to talk to. What can I expect to still come? I been drinking my thoughts and pain away.

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Oct 28, 2013
I feel so Far Away
by: Anonymous

My grandmother Pasted away on October Oct 14 at 4:14 My dog tease who Was 15 was put to sleep that following Thursday before we buried my grandmother who was 102 sand my dog was 105, I am so sad my grandmother pour so much of her spirit in me I feel so empower but so loss, But when my daughter were all present while they put my dog to sleep I feel so sad and on top of that am moving which child be new beginnings, but I feel so lost, like am somewhere else, or like am in a cage as a little girl trying to get out Am 59 years old a mother of five daughters and was a part of five generation my granddaughter is two and her great great great grandma was a 100 years older than her I don't know what to do? Please help me Please!

Oct 20, 2013
Can I finally grieve?
by: Doreen UK

I am so very sorry for all the losses you have had in such a short space of time. I am not surprised at you finding that drink helps numb the pain. But this will only happen for a short time and won't be a long term help to you and may actually cause you to feel depressed because alcohol does this. If you are able to go and see a good grief counsellor this would help you better in the long term. Counsellors are trained to help individuals cope with multiple losses. This support would help you to move forward better. Alcohol will only numb the pain for a while but won't benefit you moving forward in time from grief and healing from loss.
Grief is such a slow process of healing and will feel as if it is going to last forever.
I lost my husband to lung cancer 17 months ago and I had a horrendous 3yrs. battle with him. You said you had cancer. What is the stage and development of your cancer? You will need to nurture yourself so that you can cope with your own needs. Take one day at a time and focus on one thing at a time prioritising this so it is more manageable for you. May God comfort you in your grief and loss and give you peace. Please stay on this site and write back this is the only way we all cope.

Oct 20, 2013
maryville, tn
by: Anonymous

It's too much to have to go through so many losses and i offer my deepest sympathy.

First of all stop drinking ! You don't need chirrosis of the liver on top of lung problems.
Second, cry anyway the hurt you feel over the deaths of your loved ones outweigh the hurt you'll feel from crying.

You will need some counseling to deal with such a magnitude of loss. But Drinking is not the answer becasue once the booze wears off you end up right back whre you were and it's a vicioius cycle with no end but death.. SO please stop it and get some grief counseling. ASAP!

Talk with God and he will see you through this. Not Booze.

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