Cant believe iv lost my dad!

by Nikita Greenwood

It all happened really quick id just woke up that morning when i got a call from my sister saying she's had a call from spain where my dad lived. a friend of my dad had phoned saying my dad has took ill and we need to get over there asap the doctor didn't think he'd make the night. so i practically ran to my sisters and before i knew it we was on the next flight out to spain! soon as we landed there we went straight to the hospital. when i walked in the room and saw my dad i didn't want to believe it was him, i remember shouting at the doctors demanding to know what was wrong with him. my dad had cirrhosis of the liver. and he wasn't taking his medication properly. when we first arrived at the hospital my dad was in a coma i remember speaking to him telling him i love him and feeling guilty because i didn't go and see him often!..

on the 3rd day he came out of the coma he couldn't speak but he knew we was there. when he looked at me he looked really vulnerable and tears were rolling down his cheek i remember sayin please don't get upset dad, we're all here and we love you and i told him im not going home till you get better!..i really believed he would get better and i hated leaving him at the hospital when visiting time was over.

we were only allowed an hour because he was in intensive was 19th november 2010 and it was my dads 66th birthday we were gettin ready to go to the hospital with his cards and then we got a phone call saying get to the hospital straight away! i knew then he was dying and i felt sick in the taxi on the way there..when i got there they confirmed my fears, he only had hours to live. i couldn't read his birthday cards to him for crying and my dad slipped back into a coma. everything was going over in my mind from the day before when visiting time was over i told my dad id see him in the morning and gave him a kiss on his head he looked at me and was struggling to tell me something, i told him to rest and not to worry that he could tell me when he's got the energy to talk. i really regret leavin the hospital that night. lookin back i think my dad knew he was going to die..

i stayed with him all day with my sister. i was scared but couldn't bear the thought of him dying alone i remember at one point its as if he just woke up from the coma and looked at me i shouted dad! and then he started shaking violently, the doctor said that's the start of him passing away. i told my dad to go to the angels i didnt want him to suffer anymore! he sadly passed away on his 66th birthday..

im still finding it really hard to accept and cant sleep at night. iv never witnessed anybody die before and i cant believe iv lost my dad at 23..i know i need to be strong for my kids and that one day i will see him again..i love you so much dad..R.I.P xxxxxxxx

Comments for Cant believe iv lost my dad!

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 29, 2010
thank you
by: Nikita

Thank you shannon, im sorry to hear about your loss too. my boys wont remember their grandad either, my eldest is three the last time he seen him was when he was 18months old. and i was pregnant with the youngest. i always talk to my dad as well and iv got a picture of him with my little boy which i show him and i always talk about their grandad to the kids and tell them how much he'd be proud of them. im so glad i found this website its nice to be able to talk to people who understand; all the best for the future x

Dec 28, 2010
I understand
by: Shannon

I am so sorry. I lost my dad on 11/10/10. He was 58 years old. He fell off a ladder.
I still can't believe he is gone. My heart hurts every day. Some days, I feel okay, then out of nowhere something triggers a memory and I break down crying. I've never sobbed so hard in my life. The hardest part for me is that my two young boys will not remember him, other than through stories and pictures I show them. He will not get to teach them everything he taught me. It breaks my heart.

Lean on your sister, and any other family you might have. It helps me to talk, write, look at photos. I talk to my dad also, out loud. Find something. And when it gets really hard, just close your eyes and breathe.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Dads.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!