Cant believe iv lost my dad!

by Nikita Greenwood
(Manchester)

It all happened really quick id just woke up that morning when i got a call from my sister saying she's had a call from spain where my dad lived. a friend of my dad had phoned saying my dad has took ill and we need to get over there asap the doctor didn't think he'd make the night. so i practically ran to my sisters and before i knew it we was on the next flight out to spain!..as soon as we landed there we went straight to the hospital. when i walked in the room and saw my dad i didn't want to believe it was him, i remember shouting at the doctors demanding to know what was wrong with him. my dad had cirrhosis of the liver. and he wasn't taking his medication properly. when we first arrived at the hospital my dad was in a coma i remember speaking to him telling him i love him and feeling guilty because i didn't go and see him often!..

on the 3rd day he came out of the coma he couldn't speak but he knew we was there. when he looked at me he looked really vulnerable and tears were rolling down his cheek i remember sayin please don't get upset dad, we're all here and we love you and i told him im not going home till you get better!..i really believed he would get better and i hated leaving him at the hospital when visiting time was over.

we were only allowed an hour because he was in intensive care..it was 19th november 2010 and it was my dads 66th birthday we were gettin ready to go to the hospital with his cards and then we got a phone call saying get to the hospital straight away! i knew then he was dying and i felt sick in the taxi on the way there..when i got there they confirmed my fears, he only had hours to live. i couldn't read his birthday cards to him for crying and my dad slipped back into a coma. everything was going over in my mind from the day before when visiting time was over i told my dad id see him in the morning and gave him a kiss on his head he looked at me and was struggling to tell me something, i told him to rest and not to worry that he could tell me when he's got the energy to talk. i really regret leavin the hospital that night. lookin back i think my dad knew he was going to die..

i stayed with him all day with my sister. i was scared but couldn't bear the thought of him dying alone i remember at one point its as if he just woke up from the coma and looked at me i shouted dad! and then he started shaking violently, the doctor said that's the start of him passing away. i told my dad to go to the angels i didnt want him to suffer anymore! he sadly passed away on his 66th birthday..

im still finding it really hard to accept and cant sleep at night. iv never witnessed anybody die before and i cant believe iv lost my dad at 23..i know i need to be strong for my kids and that one day i will see him again..i love you so much dad..R.I.P xxxxxxxx