Can't Believe She Is Gone Forever!

by Narin

I lost my mom March of 2012. She passed away unexpectedly from a misdiagnosed heart attack back home. Last time I saw her was in January 2009. I was working on sponsoring her and my dad. Mentally I was getting ready to have my mom in my basement, and was picturing her taking care of the flowers in the back yard, playing with my boys, the younger one she never had the chance to meet. I dream about her very often, either crying in the dreams, or being terminally sick. I wake up shaken from these dream, tears on my pillow, and force myself to leave my bed and go to work in the morning.

She was only 66, and was full of energy, hope. She was very excited for her upcoming reunion with me and my little family. When I went back for her funeral, my heart broke harder when I saw all the new clothes, suitcase and other things she did getting ready for a new life!

I feel sad, guilty, empty, and more than anything, I feel different. I feel like I aged centuries in the last year. I feel like I will never be same again, never laugh hard from heart like before. Will it ever get better?

Comments for Can't Believe She Is Gone Forever!

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Feb 21, 2013
Can't Believe She is Gone Forever!
by: Doreen U.K.

Narin it is such a difficult place to be when you lose your mom. It will be especially painful seeing all the clothes and belonging of your mom and know that she didn't get to use them. Such is life. We are busy planning not knowing our life could end. But plan we must. We must be allowed to live life and carry on as normal even if we don't get to have another chance to do all the things we want or need to. Not knowing that we leave behind all our possessions. I have had to shut away all my husband's belongings and won't deal with them till I am able to. It is such a painful part of loss.
Things have to get better for all of us grieving otherwise how would we be able to survive another day. I hope you go on to have better days ahead and that you have good friends and family to support you as it does help a lot.

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