can't believe she's gone

by gizelle

Hi!my name is gizelle and I lost my mum ten years ago when I was only 17years mother was murdered along with my baby sister,she was only 2years old.somehow I feel that I could've help them if I was home that night,something was feeling wrong with the lights of our house going on and off but I didn't go to see why..anyway.I couldn't come to terms with my mum be gone it took me a really long time,and sometimes i had to explain to my little brother why they wound be coming back it was really hard.most of the time I feel like dieing to just to be with them sometime I miss them so much it feels like my heart is covered with something its almost that pain deep down in my 27years old this year and I still miss my mother,nothing will ever be the same no matter how old I get coz nothing replaces real.

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Apr 09, 2013
can't believe she's gone
by: Doreen U.K.

Gizelle I am sorry for your loss of your mother and baby sister 10 years ago to a sudden death. This is such a tragedy. You were a young person. You shouldn't have had to make this decision. But I think you made the right decision to not go to the house. You may have been murdered also. Sometimes we make spur of the moment decisions and it turns out to be the right decision to make.
Some years ago our home got broken into in the night and at that time we had a birdcage in the lounge with 9 cockatiel birds in it. I remember waking up in the night and heard the birds flapping around and making a noise. All I remember thinking in a sleepy state is that the birds never do this. I then fell asleep so suddenly. I believe God saved me. I may have come downstairs and been attacked. The birds making this flapping noise was because they were scared and this sent the intruders away so quickly. When I got up in the morning I noticed the front door open and my husband's bag and some of his things were stolen. Our birds saved us losing more items. Who knows what else may have happened? I think God saved you by you not going into the house to check things out. You need to now let go of your guilt. Guilt is a normal part of life and should go in time. If it lasts you may need some professional counselling to get over this. It is hard to let go of guilt. I have had to struggle with this and only after counselling I lost this false guilt. I don't suffer with this now.
Grief does come from deep within our soul and it HURTS. Pray to God and let God take this guilt, sorrow, and pain away. You have had this sorrow too long. Often with grief a counsellor can help us move forward better and we can get on with our life better. You will always miss your mother and sister and you will never forget. But it is possible for you to go on to live your life. Your grief is stopping you from doing this and it was never meant to do this. We are all meant to HEAL in time from our grief. So we have the memories without this pain that wears us out and limits our life. I hope my words will help you now to let go of your guilt and to find happiness again in life.

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