Cant cope with the environment with out my father.

by mspk

I am from India.

Recently my father died of Brain stroke, Heart fail and Cancer. I and my family consoled our selves when he affected with stroke paralysis as he will be recovered after three months any way... the reason we think in that way because, my father from past child hood was a tension and anxiety person, cant control his emotions.

So, I prepare my self to take care of him personally mean while attending to the job for three months.
But suddenly, he got stomach pain and when tested report came out, it was revealed that he was developed with pancreatic cancer which was in metastasis state means advance state which nothing will cure him.

From that time onward in the hospital I cant think properly by knowing that my father will expire soon.

He experienced a hell in the bed as he already affected with stroke, he cant able to walk or eat. He simply like a baby to take care of and nothing else because he cant able to speak also...

When my father experiencing that kind of hell and was treated like a baby.. that time.. I got realization that all his anxiety and tension is due to his child mentality. He cant able to control emotions because he is a adult child having children...

I didnt understand my father when he was alive.. I didnt console him when he felt sad... I made a big mistake.. I wanted to console him and wanted to be with him.. which cant be possible..

I miss you my dad... i am sorry....

Comments for Cant cope with the environment with out my father.

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Jul 02, 2014
Can't cope with the environment without my father
by: Doreen UK

Mspk I am sorry for your loss of your father to such great suffering illness.
Cancer changes a person in their mind, emotions, and body. My husband had cancer and he changed and became angry. This was not his personality. The cancer did this to him. I had to understand this and not hold any outbursts against him. I had to be gentle, loving, and caring.
Don't blame yourself for not understanding your father, and being his caretaker. Children are not meant to take on this responsibility fully as many don't have the emotional maturity to know what to offer in care. You learn at you go on what your fathers needs were, and I am sure you met them as best as you were able.
The burden of grief is great. At this time we have to care for ourselves with being gentle towards ourselves and nourishing ourselves so that we stay healthy and can care for ourselves and our families. WE learn from our fathers and I am sure you learnt much that will help you as you get older and can put into practice what you learned. You have to be of an age where you can learn to cope. But it would help you if you had family and friends to help you cope in your environment. Somehow taking one day at a time we do learn each day to move forward and develop strength to go on in life each day.

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