can't cope

by miss you mummy :(
(Newcastle )

hia i am a 13 year old girl my mum died of cancer 6 months ago she had cancer for 4 years and she was very ill about 3 years into it i now live with my step-dad older brother and little sister i dont see my brother very often and my little sister is a brat i must say i not saying i am a angel in fact i am the worst one of all i can't stand little kids i thing its my age but my step-dad now has a gf and she has 2 little kids and i can't stand them they r alwasy vistiting and i am getting fed up of them getting away with things and even if i did something less worst i would get in loads of trouble i am non stop fighting and shouting at my step-dad he just does not get me he does not get that i am a 13 year girl who is going through alot he has a counciler and has been telling him or her that i am his main course of stress thats true yes i am but he does not think so is he i am fat and he mocks me for this and i tell him to p off then he shouts at me for saying that and so on i can't cope anymore and on a few time i have thought of killing myself i have not told him this ad he would call me a attention seeker but one day i might just do it i need help plz

Comments for can't cope

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Nov 27, 2012
Please let us know?
by: Anonymous

Hia, I wrote before (Someone to talk to). I hope you're okay. Please let us know how you're doing?

Nov 24, 2012
Someone to talk to...
by: Anonymous

Goodness... I can see you have problems. The bigger our problems, the smaller we feel, right? At the same time, I can see that you have spunk and spirit, you are a fighter. So, in my opinion, you can and you will cope, if you can find the help you need.

The way I understand... you are 13 years old, you have lost your mother, you have two siblings, and you all live with your step-father. Your step-father has not only a counsellor, but a new girlfriend, too. On top of all that, the girlfriend has two children. Yes, that is a lot to cope with. I am sure there's a whole lot of other stuff going on which you are trying to deal with, too. As I said, though, you seem to have courage and that is a good place to start.

The best advice I can give you, Sweetie, is to try very hard to think of someone whom you can trust, someone who is near enough for you to reach. Perhaps there is a teacher at school whom you admire? If there is, let your courage work for you, and try to find an opportunity to speak with that teacher. You can start just with a smile. It will help your teacher to know that you admire her. If she returns the smile, then speak to her the next time, say hello in a respectful way, and smile again. I promise she will begin to notice you. If you feel confident the next time after that, you could say "Miss, may I speak with you?". If she agrees, then you will know that there is someone who might listen at last, and you can tell her that you are worried about your situation. Tell her as much as you feel comfortable with, and ask her if she knows of someone who might be able to help you to overcome these problems.

If you do not know any teachers whom you can trust, try to think of a friend who has a secure and loving home, and ask your friend if you might speak with his or her mother. Explain to your friend that you need a responsible adult person to talk to. If your friend is true, he or she will agree. If you do not know anyone whose parents will help you, perhaps there is someone else? The librarian at your local library, or one of the adults at your local church. Please do try to think of one person who will be willing to listen to you.

I hope that you will find a starting point to deal with your problems. Remember that you will need a lot of patience, but, I promise you, as soon as you find the right person to talk to, you will start to feel better. If you can, please also try to remember some of the happy times you had with your Mum. It will help you to realise that you are a very, very special person and that you deserve to be happy. I wish you success.

Nov 15, 2012
can't cope
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your mum to cancer 6 months ago. You are so very young to have to go through such a lot of pain and sadness in your young life.
You are probably feeling lost and lonely as if no one is looking out for you and supporting you in the way you need.
Try and see a CRUSE Bereavement counsellor. You will be well supported and in a healthy environment to talk about how you are feeling and what is going on in your life. This works well because I have done this for myself.
I lost my husband to cancer 6 months ago and he suffered for over 3yrs. It is so painfull to watch someone you love die a slow death. We are never prepared to lose someone as close as a mother.
Your Dad has needs and it is good he is seeing a counsellor to help him cope better. You will notice the changes in him. Be proud of your Dad. He is trying his best to help everyone and he may feel he is caught in the middle trying to please everyone. You especially need to see a counsellor since you have suicidal feelings. I have felt suicidal many times and even tried to end my life, but God saved me each time. I then managed to see a counsellor and my life got better. It was the best thing I did for myself.
Everyone seems to be very unhappy, and this could cause even children to be naughty which is why you feel sensitive towards your dad's girlfriend's children. Everyone needs a lot of loving and help. When you have had counselling your life will become more positive and you will feel happier. You won't be so troublesome and you won't become irritable towards the other children in the household. It is happening because you are grieveing for your mum. You need someone to care for you and allow you to still be a child. Children often get lost and forgotton after someone close dies. This is sad, but a fact of life. I pray to God that you get the help you need soon. Write back and let us know how you are coping and if life is getting better for you. Whatever you do DON'T KILL YOURSELF. This is not the answer or the way out. Pray to God for help and Comfort. God will comfort you as he promised.

Nov 15, 2012
Your mom will be your strength to cope.
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. It is hard enough losing your mom, but then to have to deal with all the other stuff is so sad. I am glad you are in counseling. Please keep going and talking. Do not do anything to hurt yourself. I lost my mom to cancer too, except I was 25 when she passed, and had a family of my own at that time. My dad and mom were married for 32 years and my dad started dating 2 months after my mom passed. It is a very hard thing to see and go through. It made me wonder how he could get over her passing so fast. Now that it has been 9 years later, I know my dad was just lonely, and missed having someone to come home to and talk to. I felt robbed of having my mom taken when I was only 25, I can't even imagine at 13. You can get through this. Your mom would want you to. You have to honor her, by growing up to be the bright beautiful person she always knew you were. That is the best way to keep her with you, is to live for her. I think of my mom everyday. I haven't missed one day in 9 years of thinking about her. Please promise you will continue your counseling. Have yourself a good cry when things seem bad. It may not change anything but it usually makes me feel better. You are coming into a great part of your life. There will be lots of exciting things coming up for you. Know that your mom will always be there with you. Even if it is only in your heart. She will always be there with you in spirit to watch over you, give you strength, and cheer you on. Good luck to you, and I hope some of what I have said helps you in some way. From one motherless daughter to another. Take care sweetie.

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