Can't get over my first love

I am young, 22 years old. I met my husband when I was 18 and I fell crazy in love with him. We married a year later. We have now been married three years, have a beautiful son, and are 15 weeks pregnant with our second. Our marriage has been wonderful and I truly love my husband with all my heart. But I can't seem to stop grieving my first love. I go through the stages of grief over and over again. Most of the time I am in denial. I deny that I still have feelings for him. Unfortunately we live in a small town and we share many of the same friends and acquaintances. Most of the time I can live blissfully in my denial and enjoy my life, but then I see him briefly, at the store or passing him in the street. We lock eyes but never speak and my whole world will con crashing down again.

We met when I was sixteen and he was fifteen, we were so young and passionate about each other. We swore we were the love of each others lives and that we would be together forever, but my parents had very different ideas. My home life wasn't that great and they were so hell bent on breaking us up and I wasn't strong enough to go against them. My life at home was tough enough without having to endure the threats and screaming. So we broke up. I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me. I knew that god wanted me to be obedient so I was. I don't understand how after all this time u can feel so much grief and heart ache over losing him. After all I did the right thing. Why sm I being punished? I have tried SO HARD to get over him. For six years I have done everything to make these feelings go away. Even though I'm in love with my husband and a mother I can't stop these feelings of regret and wishing I could go back and change everything. I can't help but feel like we were soul mates and meant to be together. I want nothing more than to feel nothing for him. I just want complete closure and happiness in the life god has given me and the life I have chosen. My husband deserves better :(

Comments for Can't get over my first love

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Jul 28, 2012
Live for Now
by: Anonymous

Just forget about your first love. He showed you how to love. Now it is adultery and temptation and it will ruin your life. You don't want to feel like you did something wrong about something as important as romantic love. You feel you made a mistake that changed your life. I think you feel your parents took something away from you noone wants to feel loss. But mabey they didnt. Things might have ended badly anyway. You can't change the past only the future. Kids you have to live with divorce suffer a lot. It might not be worth it in the end.

Jul 11, 2012
Can't get over my first love
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear confused Lady, It is hard when feelings are so strong that they overwhelm one and disrupt life. You are a Christian. You also Respect those Christian values. You also want to do the right thing by honouring your Husband. Where is God in all of this? Shouldn't you be consulting God. Inviting him into the situation and letting God take away those strong feelings of desire that you have for your first love that you don't want to have now you are married. God knows you want to honour Him. God knows you want to honour your husband. Pray without ceasing over this problem. TAKE IT TO THE LORD IN PRAYER. But it is good you are reaching out to PEOPLE. We have to live on the earth with all its temptations. We struggle with this. People need People. See if you could go and get professional counselling. I think this would really help you. Your parents interfered and broke you up. Your feelings and desires are all locked up. Were not able to find expression and are coming out now. you are pregnant. You have hormones raging and causing you to feel in a way you don't want to. You need to resolve these issues in a safe environment meaning A COUNSELLING ROOM. Whatever you do. Do not share your feelings with anyone you know. don't even confide this with a friend or sibling. If it came out. Your marriage would be in jeapardy. You would be misquoted. No one would understand and you would become an innocent casualty of someone's talebearing. Your strong feelings need to be handled with care otherwise you may act upon this and go to your first love to get rid of these feelings and end up in a worse predicament. Often when we want to do the right thing. Satan will be active. Satan wants to break up families. Don't let him do this. You are in Control. Let God into your situation. If possible choose a Christian Counsellor who would also pray with you. You will Overcome this problem with Counselling and God's intervention. Read your Bible. Pray. Consult God in everything. Go on and Love your husband and soon your first love will become a thing of the past. Remember Joseph in the bible. Potiphars wife tried to seduce him. He ran as fast as he could. Away from the problem. Joseph suffered for his Integrity. But in the end God honoured Joseph. Maintain your Integrity. Suffering for doing the right thing is better. This is probably a trial you are going through. If you want support you can email me at.

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