Cant get over my moms death

by tetelo

i dont know where to begin in 2012 2 September i lost my guardian angel my mom my mom was very sick she was hospitalized for 5 month in hospital. she had a renal failure which resulted into kidney failure .the thing is she was very very strong and even when she went for the operation she would say my children am coming back just now thats what kept us going for the five months that she was in mom she was our sole provider she would make sure we had every thing she was our friend our teacher our pillar of strength she was really a remarkable women so sometime i feel betrayed by her death i feel alone, lost, out of control of some sort i need help to over come this anger that i carry in my heart

Comments for Cant get over my moms death

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May 25, 2013
Can't get over my moms death
by: Doreen U.K.

Tetelo I am sorry for your loss of your mom. It is never a good place to be when we lose our mom. Moms do everything they can for their children because that is what a mother loves to do. BUT. This causes us so much pain when we lose it. Your anger and sadness, and feeling lost is all part of grief. It is the first stages of our grief but can last a long time. Some people find that going for some grief counselling does help the anger. For other's they work through their anger by keeping a journal and writing out all their feelings. You will be surprised at how much expression can come out of you when you write it out. You can even write in the form of letters to your mom. Express how you feel in your writing letting your mom know how much her death has affected you and how difficult you are having trying to go on each day without her. You will be helping yourself to grieve.
I lost my mom 10yrs. ago and she was a good mother who was always doing so much for her 6 children. I am a mom now to 3 Adult children and I have learned from my mother the same skills and care for a family. But we were also taught to work hard and be self sufficient. It helps when a mother is no longer here to guide us. The children then are able to not feel so devastated by thinking. "How do I go on without my mom?" "How do I cope? Mom did everything."
I lost my husband 1yr ago to cancer. He was ill for over 3yrs. and I nursed him. It came easy because my Mom taught me by her example. When my husband died I was able to cope with all the Male duties because I had to do this when my husband was working away from home all his working life of 47yrs. Life is still difficult in many areas but I am coping. YOU WILL COPE ALSO. You have your own values, and your own identity. Develop this and be excited at what you can do. I also was close to God so I got a lot of my support from learning to do things God's way. Knowing God allowed me to feel that I am not alone doing it all alone. I felt secure. I could actually go to God in prayer and seek his guidance. This is how I got through life. I know you will in time be able to move forward and live a fulfilled life. Dig deep and develop the values your mom gave you. You will succeed because your mom was successful. Think Big. Your mom will be happy knowing you are safe and coping with life like she did. Our difficulties make us stronger. Best wishes.

May 25, 2013
by: Linda Keown, Harare, Zimbabwe

So sorry Tatelo on your great loss. I too have very recently lost my mother on 5.4.13 at the Clinic in Johannesburg. We arrived in Johannesburg on 3rd April, 2013 for a three week holiday to visit my sister who lives there. When we landed on that day my mother was very poorly. We took to the doctor the next day who admitted her to hospital immediately. On that Thursday afternoon when I went to visit her at the hospital she was looking great and the doctor was impressed with her progress. Suddenly on the Friday morning her condition deteriorated and she was transferred to the ICU where she sadly passed away on that Friday evening around 6pm. In the doctor's report my mother was diagnosed with Ischaemic Bowel with a possible early perforation. You must know how guilty I am now feeling over her death. I blame myself. She had some vomiting/loose stools/constipation while we were home in Zimbabwe. She also stopped eating and drinking water. On a few occassions I took her to the doctor and on two occassions she had a drip with antibiotics and she recovered nicely. Her condition never really went fully away she had her good days and bad days and ate a little something and drank water. I just wish I had been more persistant and just kept going back to the doctor. I know exactly how you are feeling Tatelo the pain is so intense and life for me and I am sure you feel the same way is just not the same any more. When I returned to Zimbabwe after my three week stay I returned home with my mother ashes which was the hardest thing for me to do. Just like you said your mother was your EVERYTHING and I felt the same way and still do. I am 55 years old divorced with a 17 year old daughter who is amazing. My mother lived with me for 6 years from March 2007 till her passing. I took care of her and having my mother around for the period of time gave me the most amazing strength and I felt I could achieve anything. I really wish I could just turn back the clock and make everything right again. We have to live with this pain and work through it and you know its not easy. I am getting counselling twice a week which really helps because all I want to do is talk about my mother. I am sure you feel the same. Please Tatelo get hold of Island Hospice they will really help you and there is no charge. Dont worry you are not alone with your pain. Its the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life and I know I will never get over losing my mother. God Bless you Tatelo.

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