Cant get over my moms death

by ekta
(india)

i dont know where to begin in 2013 28 Feburary i lost my guardian angel my mom. she was very sick she was hospitalized for month in hospital. she had complete heart block, diabetic and renal failure which resulted into kidney failure .the thing is she was very very strong and even when she went for the operation she would say my children am coming back just now thats what kept us going for the month that she was in hospital.my mom she was our sole provider she would make sure we had every thing she was our friend our teacher our pillar of strength she was really a remarkable women so sometime i feel betrayed by her death i feel alone, lost, out of control of some sort i need help to over come this anger that i carry in my heart..i miss her a lot..even in my dreams i keep on apologizing her that "m sorry i couldn't helped her to survive"...no one can takes her place in my life...m nothing without her...i want to touch her feel her...m just unable to think anything positive about my future without her...her last words always knocks my mind she wanted to live for me and my sister..but god snatched her..v r just orphan without her ...i donot know to whom i ask for help and whether i would ever able to forget those scenes in hospital...but i need help..
i love you mummy...

Comments for Cant get over my moms death

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May 30, 2013
thank you Doreen
by: tiffiny

Thank you so much for your words it makes scene when you hear things from another and not just telling myself. I appreciate it so much and I did take your advice and called today to meet with a counselor I feel its the first step and its a major step. I no in my heart that my mom is still here with me and doesn't want me to hurry she wants me to do better and live my life but it just hurts because I want her here to live my life with me, I am a mother of 3 amazing children that I would do anything for and I no like I need my mom they need theirs so with that said I am do thankful there its people out there to talk to because your words made me feel better Doreen thank you so kindly and may good bless you I will keep you informed with progress with my counselor and all and would like to thank you again for me to even feel a little better is great n reading on this site I no I'm not alone and actually there its alot of others going through the same and I'm dirty for evones loss trust me I no the pain but life has to go on I can't sit and give up on my life my mom would never want that for me and I no she loves n sees me and I will try my hardest to deal with my moms loss with people on here it just makes me feel like I'm not alone I'm fearful there I'd a website like this thanx so much

May 30, 2013
Struggling with the death of my mom
by: Doreen U.K.

Tiffany you have lost the most important person in your life who gave you life and nurtured you to be the person you are today. You had a strong bond with her and so it hurts you to your core. Grief like this leaves one feeling unbalanced and not able to go on anymore. You say that you wanted counselling but didn't get there. You have lost your motivation to do even the normal duties each day. This is understandable. You do need to talk to someone and get this pain out of your system and so talking to a grief counsellor would be the best support you need at this time. Grief affects each of us differently. But when we find it difficult to cope with grief we have trained people to assist us. Counsellors go through the same losses and tragedies and their skill and training is invaluable at a time like this. You just have to make sure you get the right person for you. You will know this by how you feel less pain and able to move forward from where you are in this deep grief.
Try if you can to get someone to baby sit for you so you have regular breaks and support at this time. It is very hard to FUNCTION at a time of loss. Living with grief is one of our worst human experiences in life. But you need to realise that whilst grief comes it also passes in time. Otherwise our grief would destroy us. Take one day at a time. Only do the duties that are urgent. Leave the rest. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Regular breaks are important. I express my self better through writing so I keep a journal and write often. This expels those deep down feelings. They come up from deep within and then I weep. But it makes me feel better. It will take a long time for you to Heal from this loss. WE are all playing the waiting game. WAITING for things to change so we feel better. Give it time. This is all we have. Life will get better. You will get through this grief and loss of your mom.

May 30, 2013
I can't go on without my mom
by: tiffiny

My mom was my life my bestfriend my everything she had four of us kids and honestly she was with me 75 percent more then all I always had her at my house went shopping did anything n everything together n she passed away not even 2 months ago n I'm up there at her grave at least once a day at least she does have the nicest grave I no I take pictures every time I'm there I even have her spirit in one picture but I can't seen to move on with life I try my hardest I can't I try to stay strong in greeting of my brothers n sister but I can't I need help I have three kids that see me sit n cry all day every day sleep dont wanna deal with lifeI get up the first thing I do is go see my mommy my life is hard I wanna give up I want my mom n I really don't care if I give up anymore cuz I will see her again I've been wanting to go to counseling but never get there I have an amazing family and amazing fiancé and children but I an not amazing I'm giving up I don't mo what to do anymore I really don't I just want my mommy I'm30 she is 50 and she went to cancer that want caught I'm sick to my stomach and don't no what to do anymore I honestly am the saddest person you look at people say it I just don't no what to do anybody please let me no I need the help I'm lost and out of control

May 26, 2013
hi
by: Anonymous

thanks Doreen for your support ...m not into any kind of crisis..its just that im unable to think anything without my mother...i miss her all the time..i am just unable to over come this fact that my mum is no more..

May 25, 2013
to
by: Anonymous

I feel sad for your loss. Doreen is right---you have to seek out someone who can help you to get through this grief. Look for good and honest people that you can trust and seek their support. There are many good and caring people in this world. I serve a loving God who will put help and support in your path--to lead you and guide you. Anger is a very justified and normal reaction when our loved ones are taken from us. I pray that in this journey that you will take what your dear Mom instilled in you and enrich lives of others in your life.

May 25, 2013
Cant get over my moms death
by: Doreen U.K.

Ekta I am sorry for your loss of your mom. Your anger is normal. You have been left so suddenly without your support and the person who nurtured you. You don't say how old you are? You don't say who is looking after you now? I don't know what the social network is like in India but don't suffer alone in silence. Seek out someone who can help you. Even if it is to go to your religious leader and seek advice. Do you have any aunties or uncles who could look out for you, or even a grandmother? If you are still at school then talk to a teacher or head of the school. You say you are an orphan so you must be of young age. No one should be left alone to deal with this loss. A mother is such an important person in a childs life. She is your protector and now you will feel very vulnerable without her. If you have access to a counsellor then go and see one and talk over your fears and feelings of loss. You need to talk to someone. You sound as if you are in crisis. Please write back and let us know how you proceed further to get the help and support you need right now. Don't give up. Keep trying till someone comes to help you.

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