Cant get over parents death
I recently turned 17, When I was 15 I lost my dad. One of the greatest people I have ever met who taught me so much life experience and gave me so many great memories, At the end of 2012 my dad came to me and told me about the cancer he was fighting that he hid from me for a few months not knowing how to tell me. I didn't think it was possible, I held to my hopes thinking he would get through this, He was the strongest person besides my mother I've ever met. Every day I visited him in hospital hours on end, I held to my hopes I prayed and prayed every day, Hiding my emotions from everyone just hoping he would make it through. Dec 2012, The first christmas and new year not being able to see him in hospital is something I'll never forget, Shortly after new year my dad was moved to a hospital two hours away from me, I wanted to organize a visit with him instantly but was int allowed due to the fact of my dad not wanting me to see him in such shape. One week later I tried calling that night once again the nurses wouldn't let me talk to him, Saying he was asleep. I told them to give him the usual message I always sent, that I love him. 10 minutes later I got the call. The call that I never though possible and feared since being a child. Lucky enough I had my mother to comfort me, She recently losing her mum knew how I felt and became even closer then we already were. A few months later I was barely getting by, Hiding my emotions and bottling them inside that was until my mum had to get rushed in for Heart surgery. One she was int supposed to make it out of but she did only to catch countless infections and pass. I sat in her room with her while they turned off the life machines. I'm not sure if its something I regret. And hear I am now, First Christmas, new year, birthday and everything without them. I cry daily and only survive by hiding and distracting myself with silly objects and games. The moment I don't distract myself the moment I'm overwhelmed by memories and break down. I'm beginning to forget the sound of their voices and all I want so desperately is to get hugged one last time.