Can't live if living is without You

by Thomas Benevente
(E. Patchogue,N.Y. USA)

I lost my wife Valerie to cancer March 23rd 2012. We tried everything to save her. Surgery,chemo,and radiation. I'm just not doing well. I attend bereavement groups and counseling but I am sad all throughout each day. I still cry daily. We had Hospice at home untill the end. I watched her take her last 3 breaths. I can,t stop that image! I have not returned to work yet. I work with homeless Veterans. I too am a veteran and I,ve reached out to the VA for help as well. My title says it all. "Cant live if living is without You" I miss her so. Tommy

Comments for Can't live if living is without You

Click here to add your own comments

May 22, 2012
He is dying as I write these words
by: Anonymous

My best friend and the love of my life is dying in front of my eyes. He has courageously fought cancer for the last three years and we thought we had won. In February things took a bad turn and here we are. I have not been able to talk to him in days as he moves toward death. I already miss him so desperately and he has not even passed. I want to stay with him but know I must remain in this realm. This hurts. This hurts. This hurts. All the little things. So many memories of twelve years together. We have such a wonderful love. I am so lucky to have had this.

May 04, 2012
Suddenly Lost Husband; Then Suddenly Lost Dad 19 Days Later
by: Susan

We are not taught how to grieve; After reading about all the losses, it helps to know that we are not alone. We are only alone in our grief and depression while we are mourning. Losing my husband suddenly 0n 12/2/2010 at 9:00 am; a week after Thanksgiving. then my father 19 days later has been very difficult, the worst heart ache of my life. I am grateful for this web sight. I have not had much bearevement support. I am waiting for one to start in August. It has been a year and a half. I am having a hard time too. I feel like I am not good company because I am truly sad right now. We were married for 43 years and he was my soul mate. You will learn to live without her; I am praying that I, too can do this. I don't like being alone; so I joined these meetups.com on line. They are everywhere. When you are feeling better, you might want to try a meeting. It usually is single people looking for friendship. They go out to movies, dinner,etc. I will keep everyone in my prayers and please do the same for me. God Bless All Of You

May 04, 2012
The Same
by: Michael

Tom, I lost my wife to cancer Mar 24th. I wake up thinking I will be ok today but the tears and the sadness come flooding back. I have to work but it is from home now and it is like I am only here physically, because my heart is with her. All I know is that time passes and sooner or later it will be my time to go. It won't be too soon. I will take it a day at a time. I have to. No choice. You have my blessings Tom and I ask for yours.

Michael

May 04, 2012
I feel your pain
by: Anthony

Like you my wife Constance went home to Jesus on 19 March 2012. I held her in my arms and prayed with her till her last breath at 6.12 pm - I will never forget it - it is etched on my mind forever.

Like you, my life is now meaningless - we are soulmates, lovers and best friends - and now, although I know she is in another realm, I cannot see, touch, hug and love her like how I used to. How I miss all these affections!

I function without functioning and can only look forward to the day I join her, and I pray daily that it will be soon.

May 04, 2012
I share your pain
by: Anthony

Like you my wife Constance went home to Jesus on 19 March 2012. I held her in my arms and prayed with her till her last breath at 6.12 pm - I will never forget it - it is etched on my mind forever.

Like you, my life is now meaningless - we are soulmates, lovers and best friends - and now, although I know she is in another realm, I cannot see, touch, hug and love her like how I used to. How I miss all these affections!

I function without functioning and can only look forward to the day I join her, and I pray daily that it will be soon.

May 03, 2012
THOMAS I FEEL THE SAME.
by: Anonymous

HI TOM, I FEEL BAD FOR YOU AS I AM GOING THRU THE SAME FEELINGS. I AM ALSO A VETERAN AND BEEN LIVING ALONE SINCE SHE PASSED AWAY. MY CHILDREN LIVE FAR AWAY AND SOMETIMES DO NOT CALL FOR WEEKS. MY WIFE PASSED AWAY OCT.05, 2009 AND THE DEPRESSION AND GRIEF ARE STILL THERE EVEN THOUGH I WENT FOR HELP. HAVE YOU GONE TO THE GRIEF MEETINGS? FOR ME ITS OVER 2 1/2 YEARS AND MY DEPRESSION AND GRIEF IS EVEN WORSE. I KEEP MYSELF BUSY BY WRITING A LOT OF POEMS. SOME WERE PUBLISHED. BEFORE MY WIFE DIED I NEVER WRITTEN A POEM IN MY LIFE. LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING. I BELONG TO 3 VETERANS GROUPS AND TRY TO HELP OUT FIGURING IT MAY HELP ME OUT OF MY DEEP DEPRESSION. COMBAT WAS EASIER. HAVE A GOOD WEEK. IRWIN

May 03, 2012
I Feel Your Greif
by: Bob

I am so sorry for your loss. My wife passed 4/18 from cancer, and I have not able to pull it together very well. I have to pretent at work that I am OKAY, but I am not. I do have hope that these are just the phases that we go through when we loss someone that we have loved so much. I wish for your grief to pass. Just as I hope mine will. She was my best friend for 40 years. Please give it time and as many tears as it needs.

May 02, 2012
We're All Afraid..........
by: TrishJ

Thomas~
I have relived that horrific day over and over in my mind 1,000 times. It haunts me. My husband was so full of life and always had such a positive attitude. He fought so hard to stay here with us.
I'm having a difficult time moving forward and it's been almost 17 months.
We grieve so hard because we loved so deeply. I wouldn't give up my husband's love for anything. The problem is.....without it I'm lost. I do have some good days but I miss him so much.
We were spoiled. We had this wonderful love and now it's gone. We don't know how to live without it and the thought of it scares us badly. I think we do manage to get to another place but please don't make the mistake of trying to recreate your love. We move on to something else. We will grieve for the rest of our life but we do our best. The love will always be with us~nothing can take that away~but we have to learn to live our life in a different way.
Take it one day at a time. Eventually you will be able to remember your love with a smile. It's hard work but we have to keep on trying.
God bless you. Hugs and Peace.

May 02, 2012
I set my face with hope
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband two years ago. He was 45. We were soul mates. He completed me. I completed him. The life we built and the dreams we aspired to are all gone. I have no dreams, nor inspiration any more. I merely have a job of raising my last child. This brings me joy, no doubt, but even raising my son is not as meaningful any more. Raise him for what? To feel the heartache of living life without Daddy.

Regardless of how my heart feels I don't let my son know. For him I put on the face of stubborn hope that life will feel better soon. Perhaps my heart will follow my face. Indeed I suppose it has to a small measure.This small act has gotten me through some time. And time has given me an ounce of letting go of all the memories. This too seems cruel that the human mind forgets. But if memories would not fade I'd never get out of bed.

I so miss my husband. But I am determined to help my son live.I set my face with hope. HOPE

May 01, 2012
Sorry about your loss
by: Ed S

I loss my wife to lung cancer 3/9/12. Life sucks for me too, i cry everyday for what i will never again ever have, her in my life. However i do believe our love ones would not want us to suffer as much as we do with our grief. Also i figure with how good my life was with her a little crying for a while will not hurt me.

May 01, 2012
my husband has past away
by: heather

I find it so hard too getting through each day without my hubby. He was ill for 2 years & I cared for him till i couldn't do it at home anymore. He went into a nursing home not even there 7 weeks and I was called to go to him early of the morning of 14th March. Like you with your dear wife I was with him when he took his last breathe. To this day we don't know what happened in his brain, from the very onset of his illness they have never had given us a definate reason.
Maybe in life there are mysteries that we are not to know. It's hard knowing that the plans and dreams that you make for the remainder of your lives together are gone. There are so many things that I try & cling too, one of them is that we don't say goodbye, we say see you later. May God uphold you as He does me. Every Blessing Heather

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!