Can't stop crying

by Jewels
(arizona)


Me and my husband of seven yrs, just separated on christmas day this year. I actually told him to leave, due to his always want to be with his friends. I was at my last straw, he ended up w/ his friends on christmas instead of his wife. I know I have to make a stand, after past problems with the same thing, but I can't stop crying. I miss him so much. My heart is actually breaking it feels like. Please some good advice.

Comments for Can't stop crying

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Sep 12, 2012
Not a Big Deal
by: Tarun Ghai

I know you guys are married and he is spending little extra time with his friends but that's no big deal as long as he loves you.

Jan 24, 2012
WHAT REALLY COUNTS in A Marriage
by: Anonymous

ALL LOSS keeps us grieving for a long time. Yours could be fixed if the two of you would simply sit down and talk and respect each others feelings.

You, want him home more. He wants to be with friends. In my opinion, you both have needs that you are simply over-looking, and selfishly demanding what may never be. So, what I'm saying, is, in marriage, we often have to give to get a lot.

You need to give him more space. If he's loyal to you, not cheating, and just mixing with friends, then you're a lucky gal. If on the other hand, you can't trust him, found him cheating, then why are you grieving or want him back?

He needs to understand that you want him home more for the reasons you discuss with him. These could be more time with the kids, more time helping with repairs around the house, etc. Well,
these are understandable requests on your part.
But, if you simply don't want him enjoying his friends, you may have to examine your insecurity.
Women get that way--grin.

If you LOVE each other, that's the greatest gift of all. Work it out. Don't give up so quickly.Marriage is like a fine wine, it takes time to reach its peak.

STAY TOGETHER and work things out. Obviously you love this man. Everything can be worked out when there is LOVE. Call him.

I lost the love of my life on January 25, 2011.
He passed away after failed Open Heart Bi-Pass.
We were married 34 years. I would give anything
to have him back with faults and all. My grief is beyond endurance.

So, don't give up on your husband. TALK and Compromise. God bless you both.

Jan 18, 2012
How feelings change.
by: Anonymous

I am very sorry to hear of your breakup. I am a man, but in a similar position to yourself. My wife of 6 years and I also separated on Christmas day. We have 2 girls, a 4 year old and a 9 month old. I am totally heartbroken. I loved my wife and girls so much, and blame myself for the split ( my wife said that my temper was putting her under stress as she felt she was walking on egg shells). I started going to a councillor about my anger, but my wife stated that this was final and would not take me back, even after me seeking help. However, it's amazing how feelings change. My wife is making it very difficult for me to see my children, and won't listen to any suggestions I have about me spending time with them. My children have now become my focus, not getting back with my wife. I will now do all in my power to spend time with my kids, they are my world, not my wife!

Dec 30, 2011
You Will Stop
by: Judith in California

Jewels, You will stop crying after you really think about it. People marry today so lighly and don't take their vows seriously. When you say your vows it says to forsake all others and honor and cherish your mate. He obviously is a still a boy wanting to play with his friends. Men realize their friends come second.
I know it's hard and painful to put so much energy into a relationship and get nothing equal in return.

He is not going to change and will never see his immaturity about it. I'm sure if he were mature he would be willing to compromise and ask for two nights a months out with his friends and you in turn would have two nights a month out with your friends.

Stay strong and keep your ground.

Dec 30, 2011
My Experience
by: BTDT been there done that

In a way, it is selfish-but he is selfish. You have to do what you know you need to do for yourself. THIS IS ONLY MY EXPERIENCE: when I was in a similar marriage, I strengthened myself to have that kind of a marriage-we also had 3 children. Me and the kids and the house, and him just coming and going as if he was single. He was very active with other people, at home he was either sick in bed, or asleep on the couch. When I resolved to be happy and shut up; he left me for someone else. HE THRIVES ON CHAOS. Since we had kids & eventually they moved to him because his house was more fun-I wish I'd kept fighting LOL, but otherwise; I am better off. YOU DO NEED TO SEEK COUNSELING OR YOU WILL RE-CONNECT WITH HIM AGAIN, JUST A DIFFERENT BODY. As far as the pain, it takes time. Feel it and set it free.

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