Can't Understand What's Happening

In November my partner's Mother died very suddenly from a stroke and then a heart attack. It absolutely tore our world apart. I was 100% supportive of my partner whilst he was going through this terrible ordeal until early January when my Mother got taken into hospital with severe back pain, this was then diagnosed as a very rare aggressive type of kidney cancer which had spread all over her body. She died 5 weeks later. My Mum was the type of person to never get ill so this was an incredible shock to all of us!
My partner rings me up on Saturday (exactly 6 weeks after my Mother's death) and tearfully told me his brother died suddenly. We honestly can not believe what is happening to us and most of all we definitely don't understand what's happening or why the universe/God is testing us. We've only been together for 9 months and already we've had to deal with three major deaths in the space of 4 months- something that most couples deal with after being together for years. I feel our 'Honeymoon period' has been snatched from us. Everyday we wish none of this ever happened and that it was all back to normal.

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Apr 03, 2014
Thank You
by: Anonymous

I would want to thank Doreen UK for your lovely and comforting words. I am so sorry for the loss of your Husband and your positive words are really inspiring. You sound like you are such a strong person and have been through a lot, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Apr 02, 2014
Can't Understand What's Happening
by: Doreen UK

To lose one person is difficult, but to lose 3 in rapid succession is very difficult to cope with. You don't get the time or space to process each loss. You could benefit from seeing a CRUSE bereavement counsellor for support when loss becomes so overwhelming. It sounds as if this is your first loss of people from your life. Especially a Mother who is the nurturer. This loss will be especially difficult to deal with. When I looked into my Husband's face I just couldn't believe I could ever lose Him, or contemplate life without him. I lost him almost 2yrs. ago. It is hard on anyone losing too many people together too soon. It will leave you vulnerable wondering who you will lose next. This is a common feeling for many people. Grief is painful and lasts too long. I hope you will receive the support you need and not bump up against any harshness in your loss. You will have to overlook people who don't support you or say the wrong thing making your grief heavier. WE all have them. May God comfort you both and give you His Peace.

Apr 01, 2014
by: Anonymous

What is happening to you both is called Reality of Life. There's no set time for us or our loved ones to pass. People get diseases at all sorts of ages and die everyday. Some are babies, some are teenagers and some are older. Don't ask WHY but Why Not .Who said you get a pass on grief? Life is full of things we wished we didn't have to deal with but God is there for us to help us through it all you have to do is look up and ask him for strength and guidance. Then you and your partner have to have the character to be there for each other and deal with it. Just like the rest of us.

Apr 01, 2014
Can't Understand What's Happening
by: Doreen UK

Your post was so distressing in how your related what has happened in such a short time. Many of us find it difficult to cope with one loss let alone an on going loss.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 23 months ago to a rare and deadly cancer and I still struggle with being so vulnerable to losing loved one's I wouldn't be able to cope with what you are going through. I have had to say to God. "You said you wouldn't give us more than we could bear, but make a way of escape so that we could bear it." Ask God for that way of escape. you need it now. Who knows why such bad things happen to us and our loved one's. My husband as a young man in his 20's went to work as a carpenter. He enjoyed his job and worked for 47yrs. going all over the world and our country the UK. He was tired all the time and didn't have time for himself let alone his family. Then just before he is due to retire he gets the worst cancer caused from working with Asbestos. It took 40yrs. to develop from that day in his 20's. Working for a family. He builds a home and doesn't get the chance to enjoy this. HE DIES. Life is UNBEARABLE a lot of the time. My Faith has been tested. I know how you feel. I am too tired to ask God WHY?? In a perfect world we should all live to 70yrs. at least and then die in our sleep. Not have to suffer a painful death. or to lose children/adult children. I can't understand what is happening and why some people are healed of cancer, and other's die. The Universe is turned upside down. But don't Let us lose HOPE. God is still in Control and He is our Ultimate Healer and Deliverer. Let us encourage each other to stay Bold and Confident in Hope. These things will pass. As long as we live on this earth we will fight endless battles. But let us stay strong and in HOPE of better days ahead. Again I am so sorry for all the tragic deaths in your family.

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