Captain Scot

by Captain Scot's eldest daughter
(Oakdale, CA)

At about 8:00 PM Tuesday, April 24, 2012 I knew. The light in his living room was on, I could here the tv, but their was no answer to my knock. I told my mother to wait outside and call 911 if needed and opened the door. He was there, on the coach, frozen in time. He looked very relaxed but I knew. I walked to him feeling like I was moving through syrup. There was no pulse and I could see his color was wrong. His skin was so cold and dimpled like he was chilled. He was hard and inflexible.

I held onto his wrist for I don't know how long. It seemed the world disappeared. At some point I called my brother and sister to come. I don't remember what I said.

They came quickly. My 18 year old son, my sister and her 18 year old son. My 18 year old niece, my brother and his wife, came to sit vigil with my mother and I.

For nearly 3 hours we held his hand, hugged him, held onto him. We wept, sobbed, and laughed. We told stories, shared memories, and waited. My sister covered him because he seemed cold, my brother wept deeply, my mother had chest pains, and we all feel so broken. An officer observed, his Dr. was called, and the funeral home arrived.

They were so gentle and kind. But they took him away from us. We waited for him to sigh, laugh, and say "Don't worry kid...I'm the hero of this story." But he didn't, and he won't.

Now I can't stop crying, feeling numb, and feeling alone. I am walking through my own life without seeing, tasting or feeling.

My father, Captain Scot, was my dad but more than that he was my best friend. Now what?

I think the phone is him, the door is him, I keep thinking I should call him.

Comments for Captain Scot

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Apr 30, 2012
When We Love
by: Anonymous

Your dad, my wife, our best friends. It has been 5 weeks for me and tomorrow would have been her 63 birthday. They say time heals but I am like you, numb to the world. The tears don't stop. We all know life is just a journey but that makes it hurt no less. I feel your pain. I believe they are here with us but that doesn't seem to be enough. I pray for you and me that at some time our pain recedes and we can find some joy in the times we spent with the ones we love.


Apr 30, 2012
Captain Scot
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing that I can say that will ease the pain and the sorrow. Know that your father is in Heaven and at peace.

Your mother will need you all now more than ever so be kind to yourself and others as you travel this journey no one expects to travel. Take care of yourselves and keep your faith.

Prayers to all of you. One breath, one step and one day at a time is all we can do.

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