by Cathy

On Dec 18 2013, my life changed forever. My 27 year old son hung himself leaving behind his father who he lived with, myself, and 3 beautiful sisters. I cannot even tell you how i feel because i am still numb-i was the last person he talked to and i keep going over our last conversation trying to remember what he said and what i said. All i know now and i tell this to my beautiful girls is that everyday i wake up i vow to live my life the way he would have wanted me to. I feel he walks with me everyday-he is in my heart forever xo

Comments for Cathy

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Feb 28, 2014
by: Becky

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. You are not alone. I too lost my 27 year old son in 2012 due to a accidental drug overdose. He had an addiction. He took something that didn't mix and stopped breathing. He had always lived with us fighting his addiction. I found him dead in his room. I try not to go in that bad place but where do you put it? I can't tell you how many times I picked him up off the floor, or how many times i called 911. A part of me feels he gave up? We will never know. He left behind a 7 year old daughter. I think thats what kept him alive. He tried to be a good dad. I know my husband and I did everything we could to keep him going. But addiction is a brain disease. How do you fix a brain disease? The only relief I get is knowing he is not thinking about pain pill 300 times a day. I go day to day. I did have a nervous breakdown. I wish I could help someone , easy their pain. But I think we you lose a child, it doesn't matter how young or old, you bury part of you heart with them. Again I'm so sorry for your loss.

Feb 15, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

Oh my heart feels for you.i am so so sorry. I lost my son Nov. 2012 and losing a child is the deepest hardest loss ever in life.
I was in a daze the first year,I know now and numb and shocked. For how do we accept this!?! My son drank and he took cocaine one night and that mix killed him. He was not into drugs so it was a rare occasion and devastated our whole family. The loss of our child so so painful. I am trying hard now to heal from this sorrow that is so huge . Take one day at a time,grief is an up and down process, somedays you cope better and some days are horrible. This site has helped me because others know my loss ands hurt. My heart goes out to you Cathy as you face this hard path.

Feb 15, 2014
by: Doreen UK

Cathy I am so sorry for your loss of your young son to an untimely death. A mother's loss of a child/adult child is the worst experience of her life. I lost my nephew of 30 yrs. 8 years. ago when he threw himself in front of an express train. Our lives changed forever and my sister needed a counsellor to go to her home and pick up the pieces of a broken person who couldn't cope with the loss. I can understand the desperate need to trace those days before and immediately after trying hard to remember their voice, what they said and the daily interaction of their life. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 21 months ago, and still struggle to remember certain memories. But as time goes on I do find many memories coming back almost as if he was still here and I am having a bad dream. For you it has only been almost 8 weeks and too early to feel anything but the numbness you now feel. I still feel some numbness and I feel as if God allows us to feel this numbness so we don't shatter into pieces from the shock our loss. Now I grieve slowly and can cope better. The type of death affects one's grief. You may benefit from seeing a counsellor. This was a traumatic sudden death and needs specialty care. For me death has been as if I was in an explosion and needing to be put back together. I still feel that slow ache in my body as if I am climbing a mountain and can't quite get there as I am too tired.
TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME is the secret to coping better. I look back and can't believe I have made it thus far in grief. I feel as If I have been sleep walking through the last 21 months. Healing is such a slow process. I still can't look beyond today. I am sorry for your loss of a son and for your children losing a sibling. May God comfort you all and give you His Peace.

Feb 14, 2014
loss of a son
by: sheela

I can understand what you are going through because I lost my 23 year old son 4 months ago due to relapse of Tb meningitis. It is very difficult to carry on with life and all the time the numbness never goes. I keep a journal and write my thoughts to him. The pain and anguish is there until my last breath. I try to lead a life of what he wanted to be happy but it is very difficult. Lots of hugs to you. Hari's mom sheela

Feb 14, 2014
losing your son
by: Anonymous

My son died in 2013. He was a young man and I miss him so much. Today is valentine's day and my heart is broken. I was also the last to speak with my son. He seemed a little agitated, and like he wanted to be alone. I gave him a little hug, and a quick "I love you" and went to work. Two hours later his father found him with the paramedics. He had gone to a drug dealer, and taken heroin, which killed him. It was the saddest day of my life. I know how you feel, and yes sometimes I feel like he's with me. We will love our son's forever. Hugs to you. From another sad mom.

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