On June 15, 2012 my Mom passed away. She had been sick for over a year with colon cancer and dementia. 20 years ago she had her first bout with colon cancer and we thought she had beaten it but it came back. She went through two surgeries in less than one week, which added greatly to her dementia. I guess we were lucky to have had her for an extra year. I was not at her side when she died but arrived an hour after. The paramedics had tried to revive her and had to leave her on the floor with the tracheal tube still inserted until the medical examiner was to have arrived, which in the end didn't happen. This is not the way you want to remember your beloved Mom, so undignified. I thought I was coming to terms with her death when my Dad suffered a massive stroke on August 10, 2012. He lived for five days in hospice, he never regained conciousness. I stayed with him all the time and held him as he breathed his last. This was the most profound experience of my life and also the saddest, I believe I actually felt him leave. I played nature sounds and music softly for him, spoke with him and stroked his hair, told him to go to Mom, she was waiting for him. I know he died of a broken heart, he and Mom had been married for 65 years and he was her caregiver for the last year. I know they are in a better place but I am so sad still, I don't cry, I wish I could, is this abnormal?. I am angry a lot of the time. I just hope that I can work through my grief, I guess time will heal.