I was with my ex husband for 22 years when he turned round and told me he didn't love me anymore.
I have no proof that he was having an affair, but he left for someone he had worked with while he was away ten weeks after he left me!
And I think she was a bit more dynamic than me Id never had a career as Id stayed home to bring up the children. Which I thought we both felt was very important.
He has always been a go-getter but soon everything we did became a challenge; even going for a nice walk became something he had to make into a competition. Lets go faster or further type of thing. It was horrid for me who hates that kind of pressure. I wanted to relax on the walk and enjoy it for what it was. Enjoying the scenery and being in nature.
I didn't easily find work when the kids left home I had no qualifications or experience and felt I could never live up to what he'd achieved in all the years he'd been working Which was silly of me; but because of how pushy he was regards everything else. Wanting so much out of what we did. I started to fantasize that Id have to almost become a 'brain surgeon' to earn his respect.
He started to loose his sexual desire for me and I knew something was wrong as he'd never had 'issues' or found me unattractive before.
He left me in a horrid way saying cruel things and refusing to have anything further to do with me despite our youngest (a daughter) being only 16 years old. Our two older boys had to pass on messages and be 'piggy in the middle' which was totally unfair.
My Ex told me I'd been a good mother but not a good wife...........which was devastating to me but I started to believe it even though it was untrue.
He left me and that was really the end of everything.
I still get upset about the way things ended despite it being nearly 14 years ago. I've written many letters and never sent them. Its helped sometimes!!
But in general I still have issues regarding proper relationships and I am still not confident regarding trust with men. I seek out friendships with benefits.......... but in my heart Id like a proper commitment.
My self esteem is very low and I've been out of work for a long time again. I've had lots of counseling but it comes back to me time after time. With lots of negative thoughts and behavior.
I've had lots of loss (losing both parents as a teenager)so I doubt my divorce is the only factor. I am seeing Mind the mental health service to try and gain some much needed confidence.
Loss is a horrid thing no matter how it happens.
Love to all and take care of yourselves