Christmas Night 2013

by Karen

I lost my husband of 39 years Christmas night he hadn't been feeling well for a few days thought that he had the flu he wasn't one for going to the doctors I ask him to go but he said he would rather die then go to the hospital. Had a good day with kids and grand-kids on Christmas eve said he felt a little better, he watched the grands kids open present and joke around with our kids a little. Woke up Christmas day and still wasn't feel good but ask if I felt like open our gifts from each other I said if you do I do, since the kids have been grown with families of there own we always do are gift from each other on Christmas morning then just have a quite day together the grand kids call and tells about all their gifts from Santa and we just have a small dinner for two later and watch old movies but this Christmas was different he didn't feel well so he slept most of the day, about 430pm dinner was ready he tryed to eat a little ham and potatoes but said he just didn't feel like eating so he went back to lie down I stay and clean up dinner dishes I call down stairs to see if he could throw me up some sandwich bags to put ham leftover in but he didn't answer so I went down a couple of stairs and ask again when he didn't answer I went down to see if he was ok and I found him half on the floor and half on the bed. I start calling is name he didn't respond I try to get him on the bed but he fell to the floor I could tell just by looking at him that he was gone. The rest I'm sure you can all guess my life feel like its been turn inside out I wonder what going to happen next I feel so broken but the days keep coming I am so mixed up. Karen

Comments for Christmas Night 2013

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Jan 29, 2014
Thank you
by: Christmas Night 2013

Thank you all for your own stories it dose help to know that by taking it one day at a time we will all get thru this with the grace of the Lord again thanks for sharing your losses with me. Karen

Jan 27, 2014
christmas night of 2013
by: Anonymous

I feel for you because I have just lost the love of my life a few months ago. It is so hard and
it is just one day at a time. Let it out and cry
because I still do. It's like a bad dream. Do
things for yourself. It not as overwhelming as before. Take care and god bless you.

Jan 24, 2014
Christmas Night 2013
by: Mari

I am very sorry for the loss of your husband on Christmas night. I pray that God will bring you comfort knowing your loved one is safe with the Lord. You need time with loved ones and prayer.
Your loss is recent and grieving takes time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Healing comes one day at a time. I realize having lost your husband on Christmas makes the loss harder but you an do do it in due time.With the Lord there is healing in his wings. Of course you have alot of wonderful people on this board to talk to and say what is on your mind and heart.We are here for you.
I lost my husband on Nov 22nt 2009 2 days after my birthday. He had stents put in his heart and didn't make it. He left behind numerous grandchildren and I thought I would never recover but God has helped me.I still miss him and so do the children and grandchildren. He was the best grandpa ever and husband.I have beautiful memories. Keep posting. Mari

Jan 24, 2014
Christmas Night 2013
by: Doreen UK

Karen I am so sorry for your loss of your husband to a sudden death on one of the worst days for family gatherings.
I felt your pain as if I was just going through my loss now. Every emotion and feeling you expressed is raw grief and is the worst pain ever. You feel as if this pain will last forever. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 20 months ago to a devastating terminal cancer caused by working with asbestos. I had a horrendous over 3yrs. cancer journey with him which was a nightmare in itself giving me, extra pain to grieve. I spent the first 6 months on the couch unable to do anything. I then started to heal a bit and did one or two jobs a day. Suddenly after Christmas I have hit a low spot with crushing memories that make me feel angry. My husband as a carpenter spent 47yrs. of his working life doing a 6 and sometimes 7 days a week working overseas and in our Country U.K. Looking forward to retirement and died 2yrs. before his retirement. So now I have to do this alone and I feel the anger through my lonely days and nights. I spent many a lonely day and night as he worked long hours. Too tired to enjoy life. Now he has gone. My heart still hurts so much and I have to hide how I feel. I got through the worst part of grief by taking ONE DAY AT A TIME. I still can only take one day at a time. If I look beyond today I feel a panic attack and anxiety take over. All I see is this long road ahead on my own. What does help however is if I am able to get out of the house and take on some project to keep myself busy. But at the moment I have lost my motivation. I have to try hard to get this back. How? I don't know. But by taking one day at a time I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Each day is different and we do get good and bad days. It also helps to realise you are not alone. If I think of other people going on and enjoying life, this pulls me down. I concentrate on those who are living just like us. ALONE and trying to forge out a future and gather strength just for today. I wish you better days ahead and hope you have good supportive family and friends to help you go through this journey of grief. It does help a lot. May God comfort you and give you His Peace.

Jan 24, 2014
Christmas Night
by: Karen

Pat & Lawrence
Thank you for sharing it helps to hear from others who have a broken heart and that I will make it thru this as you have. I try to go on with out him, I look at the picture of our children and grands-kids and just weep whats going to happen next Christmas when hes not their to wrap the present he was the best wrapper ever. Oh God I cry for you to help us and heal are hearts. Missing my Husband Karen

Jan 24, 2014
So Sorry
by: June

Dear Karen,
My thoughts are with you, this is a very hard road to travel. I'm not sure it gets better.

March 8th will be 2 years since I lost my husband Mike. I can't believe it. How did I get through 2 years without him? This year we would have been married 44 years. I miss Mike so much.

We were somewhat like you and your husband, have children, grandchildren, etc. but really relied on each other.

This is just another journey in our life here. I truly want to believe that we will be together again, and hopefully will be, but I don't think it will be in this form. You can't kill energy.

Meantime, while I'm still on this earth I keep busy and keep the focus off me. Helping others and taking care of my dog and cat seems to help.

This website is so very helpful...I still come to it once or twice a week.

Thinking of you and others in this journey and hoping the road will get smoother.

Jan 23, 2014
Christmas Night 2013
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Karen,
When we lose someone we love, we never quite get over it. We just slowly learn how to go on without them, always keeping them tucked safely in our heart.
It will be 3 years for me, on June 27th, that I lost my husband of 46 years. He died the day after our anniversary, from a massive heart attack.
I felt and still feel, that he took a part of me with him. It feels like a part of us died. Our lives are forever changed. WE GO FROM WE TO JUST ME. Our life is never the same.
I joined a grief support group through my church. I felt a closeness to three other widows in this group. We all felt this bond develop between us. We were there to support each other. I will always have the support of my family and my husbands sibblings, yet they do not truly understaNd what I am still going through. My husband is the first one I talk to each morning and night. We go through many stages of grief. Sometimes it's overwhelming.
This site is so supportive. We can come on here anytime. The time doesn't matter. I had many sleepless nights, so I'd come on this site and read other posts or post myself. My posts are " The Love of My Life". Even in death, he is still the "Love of My Life".
There isn't a time limit on our grief. Tears are healing and I can now look at my husbands picture and smile wihtout crying, but I still have this ache in my heart for him. That ache will always be there.
Take it one day at a time, that's all any of us can do.

Jan 23, 2014
by: Lawrence

My dear Karen,
My heartfelt sympathy losing your beloved husband on Christmas Day, you must feel the world has collapsed in on you, as indeed it has.
I too lost a very precious wife on Christmas Day 2012 and what should have been such a special happy day turned out to one of shock bewilderment and tears, as the one person you loved more than life itself died with saying goodbye.
The turkey was in the oven and everything prepared for a family celebration when my lovely wife just died, in the blink of an eye, even writing about it makes my eyes fill with tears.
What you must do in CRY and CRY and scream at the world, until you think you have no tears left but still they will come, its nature’s way of helping you to accept this tragedy.
It is such early days for you, just four weeks, and if you are like me I just didn’t want to live without her after being together for seventy years, yet here I am offering you solace and sympathy, so what I am saying, I know you won’t believe me, is that the agony and pain will lessen as the weeks and months pass, your brain will finally accept the fact that he has gone, but your heart never will, he will always be there.
I often read people saying “TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME “and I can’t think of any better advice, don’t push yourself.
It is without doubt the very worst thing that can happen in your lifetime and you feel you will never get over it as indeed you never will, but you will accept it as part of the circle of life, sooner or later one of you would have to go and we are never prepared for it.
You have joined a web site with many grieving people who have lost a love one.
Read all the contributions, you will find it will help; it certainly helped me when I was so distraught at losing my lovely sweetheart so suddenly.
Treasure your children and grandchildren as they are the fruit of your love and are indeed a great blessing.
You have a hard road to travel but you will come out of it battered and bruised and ready to face life alone, as we all do.
Once again, my heartfelt sympathy.

Jan 23, 2014
So Sorry Karen!


I am so sorry for your loss of your precious husband of 39 years...losing him on Christmas Day makes it twice as sad...I lost my 35-year-old son on 6/29/2013 and I know what a nightmare you are going through. Believe me sweetie, it will get easier but it takes time. The grieving process is a long one but you need to go through it. I am still grieving and know I will never get over it but you will be happy again...go to your loved ones and trusted friends for support; you cannot do this alone. Reach out to your minister if you are a person of religion...feel free to comment anytime and let us know how you are doing...we are here for each other...Keep your memories close to your heart; your husband will always be there in a safe place...HUGS!

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