Christmas sure is not what it used to be
My husband died last year of a sudden massive heart attack in his sleep. We were together 33 years. Life has never been the same. I feel so lifeless and lonely without him. I live completely alone. Night time is the worst, when the house is quiet and I am alone with my thoughts.
I did manage to put up Christmas decorations this month when the feeling hit me to do so. But then I look at it all and feel like ripping everything down because I figure why bother, it's only me here. What is there to feel happy about. The love of my life is gone. I'd give anything to be with him again, but of course this isn't going to happen, until I die. I must say though that when I went Christmas shopping for my grandchildren and my adult children and son in law I did have the Christmas spirit some of the time. I sure hope that next year will be a little better. If not I don't think I am going to put up so many decorations or maybe none at all.
Merry Christmas my beloved husband, where ever you are. I know, I hope, I will see you again on the other side. All of my love forever, Cathy.