Christmas without Sean

by Carol, Seans mom
(Bellingham,mass, usa)

Hello. This is Seans mom. My son died on November 15,2011. He died in his sleep and very unexpected. He had plans for his future. Sean wanted a family and a home. He was such a sweet soul if you got to actually know him. He expected a lot of himself and made mistakes that could be fixed but put so much pressure on himself. He never got the chance to see how wonderful he would of done and what a great dad he would of been. Christmas time he talked to me about just having quality time. We were looking forward to it. I sit here this morning drinking my coffee and talking to him like I do every morning. What happened to our quality time? Are you ok? Are you scared? So many questions I have. I miss my son so much my body literally aches from head to toes. I am told it is a sign of depression. Who wouldnt be? He was the oldest of three children and my only son. His sisters are struggling also and we all just try to be there for each other. Seans dad and I arent together anymore but have always remained friends. We talk now about how we feel and we cant believe this has happened. Life can be cruel and unfair. Christmas was just a very painful experience and I expect that New Years wont be any better. I miss you my beautiful boy and cant believe what you have already missed. I think of you all the time and wish I could have you back. Holidays in 2012 will be very different. I need low key now to just spend time with my thoughts. Seans birthday is Easter weekend next year,good Friday to be exact. April 6th. That will be my most special holiday . I wish everyone grieving lots of hope.

Comments for Christmas without Sean

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Dec 31, 2011
my son Brendon
by: vicky

we lost our son on the 4th of december 2011, he was on his way home on his motor bike when a car pulled out in front of him, he live for 8 days on life support then on the 4th he passed away, he was 26 years old and loved life, he was always out doing something, he had a great heart and would always be the first to help. we miss him so much it is so hard to go on. When I think of life without him I panic, I cannot imagine life without him. He wanted to be an organ donor so we did that, he saved 5 peoples lives just before christmas and gave them the best present ever, but to do that we had to lose him, I am just so sad all the time life will never be the same without him love you so much Brendon

Dec 30, 2011
I know how you feel.
by: Karen From Tasmania Australia

I do know how you are feeling i lost my beautiful 14yr old so August 17 2011 and also suddenly.I found him lying in the bottom of the shower.Its the worst thing i have ever experienced and cant get the image out of my mind.I kiss his photo every morning and night and also have a talk to him as well.It doesnt get any better.I am so glad Xmas is over with.But the worst is yet to come his birthday is on the 14January and that will be a very hard day.But nothing is worse than losing a child and people dont understand unless it has happened to them.I am always crying and so sad i love and miss him so much it hurts .My love goes out to you pls feel free to e-mail me old was your son.Karenxxxxx

Dec 29, 2011
My son Dana
by: Linda

My son Dana died November 5th 2011 in a tragic car accident...He was on his way to my house and died less than 30 seconds away. There is a memorial by the side of the road, that his friends set up....I have always hated seeing those memorial sites of someones death, but since my son was cremated there is no grave site for his friends to go to,, so I guess I understand now....I went there once just to see if I felt him somehow, I felt nothing but horrible pain...I miss him so much...

Dec 29, 2011
So Sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. I too just lost my only daughter 3 days before Christmas. She also passed away unexpectedly in her sleep. She left behind 4 children ages ranging from 19 to 4, as well as her husband, the love of her life. My heart just aches for them. I am just the opposite, I have 3 sons left, one still living at home. I also lost a son 29 years ago at the age of 5 months.
Please know that you are not alone. Although we all grieve in our own ways and in our own time, it's good we can share our grief with others who understand. May you and your daughters find a little peace knowing other care and know your pain.

Dec 29, 2011
by: kay

Carol I am deeply sorry to hear of your most profound loss.To lose a child is a life altering tragedy,we just go through our lives a day at a time.This has been my 2nd xmas without my son Dean who I lost last year.I find xmas is the hardest time of all.As one mother to another just know that I am thinking of you and sending my love and healing to you.Please take care of yourself even though you dont feel like doing so.One step at a time,it is a long difficult process.....Love to you.xxxx

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