Cindy

by Antoinette Manning
(Sydney, Australia)

I lost Cindy on the 21 June 2012. Its 6 weeks now and Im still grieving for her. She was 12 years old and since June 2011 she has been ill. She developed a sneeze that continued for some time and then the bleeding began. She bled from the nose, first it was slight but it continued for months where it became worse and the vet said it may have been an allergy. In September we had to go overseas and didnt want to leave her alone with my son who works and returns home around 5pm. So we took her to the specialist at Homebush who prescribed her some antibiotics but said the chances are slim. Leaving Cindy alone for 2 weeks at home alone as we had to leave overseas was very difficult. We never expected to see her when we returned. But, she was strong and we were happy to see her when we returned.
In the meantime months passed and we noticed her bleeding was not too bad but she was developing a small bulge between her eyes (more towards her nose). The vet said she had a tumor and an aggresive one. It was very hard to see her suffer as she couldnt breathe through her nose but learnt to breathe from her mouth which made her mouth dry and she would constantly drink lots of water.

She had a good appetite and barked when someone answered the door etc but I could see she was not going to get better. I watched her over the months struggling to make the hardest decision and finally I had to decide as I noticed the protrusion between her eyes was getting bigger and she was getting weaker with the struggle of breathing from the mouth. She loved siting in the front verandah where it was sunny, even though it was cold. So I used to cover her with blankets and a cushion for her head.

On June 21 (Thursday) my husband and son took her to the vets to be put to sleep. I felt the world was coming to an end. I had to go somewhere, so I went to the shops, tried to drink a coffee but couldnt drink it as I heard the news from my husband that Cindy is now resting.

I have never felt this way even when my relative passed away. I grieved for my dad when he passed away but I think this is worse. I feel guilt, anger and sadness. I have my other dog Abbey (2 years old) with me and she is a great comfort but no dog can replace my dear beloved Cindy. She was everything to me.