Cindy


We lost my Dad on Dec 17th 2011, then on April 12th 2012 my 31 year old Nephew was shot and killed by an X- Girlfreind. And while all this was going on we were copeing with my 52 year old brother fighting Cancer. My Brother passed away on May 20th 2012. In 5# months my mother lost her partner of 57#years, a son and a grandson. My brother lost a son,brother and Dad,We lost our Dad, brother and nephew. It just goes on and on. It has been so hard to focus on anything, work is a struggle lately, happiness is non existante. I know we must go on and try to endure, but it's hard. Now we aproaching the 1 year anniversary of my dad's passing and each day gets harder that the one before it. This has been the hardest thing to cope with.

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Nov 01, 2012
So much tragedy by soSadDad
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear SoSadDad, I thank you for your reply to me. Don't try to be like me in posting. You are a unique person in your own way. God gave me a Spiritual Gift and it is this I am using to lift up others and encourage them. Oh How I wished I lived near you all. I would give you all a personal visit and make my support to you all MORE REAL. You see To all of you I FEEL YOUR PAIN so deep as if it was my own.
I am so HAPPY you are going to Counselling. With the right counsellor it will take the edge off of your pain. these are early days and you are meant to feel this way. BUT. It won't last. Because God says so. Our suffering is for a season but often our Seasons seem to feel like an eternity. Most of my life has been a huge STORM. But GOD was with me all through my STORMS. He has shaped me and moulded me through my pain. No one likes PAIN. But most of the pain I have suffered has shaped me into the person God is going to take to heaven. God is polishing my rough edges. IT HURTS. BUT IT HEALS. The worst PAIN I will ever go through is losing my BELOVED HUSBAND STEVE. My heartbeat. The man I would have Given my life for. I once said to Steve. If you needed a heart transplant I would give you my heart NOW. I wouldn't have to die first. this is why my GRIEF hurts so much. I LOVED HIM WITH EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING. soSadDad
To lose your daughters and mother-in-law and even your pet is a HEAVY LOSS. Life is so full of losses we never quite get over each one before another one comes upon us and beats us down again to the point we find it hard to get up. It is then we need someone like God to come and lift us up and help us COPE. Please keep me updated as to how you are doing and May God pour out His Love and His HEALING upon you. May God give you all as a family HIS PEACE, from your Grief Pain and Sorrow. May God give you the ointment of his healing hand upon your wounded heart. You are in the valley at the moment but you will come out of this loss. You will never ever get over the loss of your daughters and other loved ones. You will have these scars forever, but the Pain should get less and make life more bearable.

Oct 31, 2012
So much tragedy
by: SoSadDad

Cindy, what a horrific time you are in. I can only echo most of what Doreen has said. For some time nothing will seem to matter because you have lost so many precious loved ones. And the world will go on around you, like nothing has changed. Take all the time you need to grieve. And if you're brave enough, don't hide your grief from the world. And don't hold those in contempt, who continue to survive around you, even friends and other family members. When they seem to treat you with indifference or say things that might sound hurtful at times, it is only from ignorance of your needs or fear of "catching" what you've been burdened with. They almost always mean well, even if it seems only mean. And if you have faith, lean on it hard. Accept and work through the multitude of questions and the unfairness of it all, in the end only our faith is left to keep us alive. God bless you. One more thing - I know you are grieving greatly now, and you need to focus on your own healing. At the same time, I know that your mother is grieving in a way that even you can't imagine. I pray you never, ever find ut, but the experts say that the loss of a child is perhaps the most devastating loss, and the loss of a grandchild is not far behind. It's just not natural to bury a child; parents should go first. I can't speak for the loss of a grandchild or a spouse, but I've lost children, my parents and a brother. They all hurt badly, but a child...it rips your heart out. Please understand, I'm not minimizing the other losses. I just know how badly your mom is hurting. And many of her generation have been taught to hide it. So look in on her when you can.

Doreen, I have seen many response posts from you, and the world needs many, many more kind hearts like yours. I only wish that I could be more like you. But I must say this, and only from a personal perspective: My girls came to us in June, 2006, both admitting they were addicted to heroin. Despite all of our (my wife and me) efforts, they both died from overdoses. We lost Mel at 31 in September, 2009, and Jenn at 28 in July, 2011, and these multiple losses have not made me stronger or taught me to cope better. In that same time period, we lost my wife's mom (my mother-in-law), my wife's best friend, my wife's brother (to suicide)and my dog (I have much pity for those who write of the loss of a pet). We will survive. But I can't stand life right now, and I am finally seeking professional counselling. I don't want any more storms, and I pray that you don't see any either. Doreen, this isn't criticism, just me pouring out my heart; there are so few who want to listen. God bless you.

Oct 31, 2012
Cindy
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your Dad, Brother, and nephew in such a short space of time. You could greatly benefit from some grief counselling to help you work through all the different losses in your life.
It will be a very long time before you all will be happy again and get back to a near normal life as things will have changed and your normal will have changed also.
Grief is a long nd painful journey and often we go it alone without support as each individual grieves in their own way.
I lost my husband 6 months ago to cancer and our families split and grieved on their own.
Life, Work, everything is such a struggle now. We can only take one day at a time. Sadly just when we are moving forward into a better way of life we may be struck down by another tragedy and have to do all this grief work again. Only this time we will have weathered many storms and be much stronger and be able to cope with whatever trials or tribulation we experience. Such is Life but Grief is by far the worst trial to overcome and Heal from.

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