Cody Lee Cole born June 9, 1982 died May 21 ,2010

by Brenda Mack
(Coppera Cove, Texas)

Cody taken  Feb 2010

Cody taken Feb 2010

Cody was my baby. My only son and the second child that I have buried. His sister Randie died when she was just into her second day of life. It took me many years to get over the loss of her. I am not sure that I will ever be the same after losing Cody.

He was born premature as was Randie, but Cody had more fight in him and it seemed that his short life would be nothing but a struggle. But despite his struggles with illness he was funny and always could make you laugh. One of my friends told me she expected to see him on late night tv. He was such a clown.

He was sensitive and could talk to me about anything. Just a few months before his death he told me that he considered me his best friend. He truly was his mamas' boy. He always told me he loved me every time we spoke. But he suffered so. As a small child he suffered with asthma and was always so skinny. He was teased and made fun of but he keep his spirits up. Then in his teens he found out he was diabetic. He hated to prick his fingers and take shots and he never did take care of himself and eat right.

It was during this time in his life that he had to come to terms with the fact that he was gay. We lived in a small country town where that was just not accepted. Cody ran away from home and got involved in drugs but through it all he still seemed to remain the life of the party.

The next ten years were very hard for my son. He even lived on the streets for awhile. Sometimes the only time he knew for sure that he would have food was when he went into the hospital, which he did often. Then he found out that he was HIV positive. It was always my fear that he would get Aids after I knew he was gay. But I knew that his uncontrolled blood sugar would get him long before Aids could.

My poor baby just did not want to grow up; he wanted to eat what he wanted and drink what he wanted. He was my Lost Boy and I loved him with all my heart, and am so glad that I was with him just 2 days before he died. He teased me about buying a marble angel for his grave when he died.

We both knew that I would bury him but we thought that would be years down the road. I just never dreamed it would be in less than 2 days. Right now we do not know for sure what killed him but the EMT said his sugar was extremely high. We are waiting on the medical examiners report. He was a beautiful boy and I say boy because a part of him refused to grow up.

The people that did love him, loved him dearly. Mamas are not supposed to bury their babies and giving up one as special as Cody is the hardest thing I have ever done. Mama loves you Cody and I always will. I will see you soon baby.

Comments for Cody Lee Cole born June 9, 1982 died May 21 ,2010

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Nov 28, 2013
Possible family
by: Brenda

to the person that posted Oct2 2010. yes you have the right Cody Lee. I am his mother and Adam was his father.

Mar 22, 2012
Miss You
by: Trey

Have been thinking about you and how you always just said what you were thinking or just said what you wanted even if no one else liked it. I miss the fun times we had hanging out and how you came over to make me soup when I was in bed sick. You were a great friend. Love you wish you were still here.

Oct 02, 2010
possible family
by: Anonymous

im sorry for ur loss i dont know if ur cody is the same i am looking for , all i know is his mother is benda and father is adam

Jul 26, 2010
by: MAMA

I found out today that you died from your Diabetes.

Jul 12, 2010
missing you so much
by: Mama

Cody, I still expect my phone to ring and you say," hey girlfriend what's up". I miss you so much my baby boy. I can not even dream of ever being happy again.

I am going tomorrow to by a marker for your grave. I am getting you an angel on it because that is what you said you wanted.

My pain is so great. I love you baby.

Jun 27, 2010
by: Anonymous

When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.

Jun 22, 2010
One Month Since You Left
by: MAMA

I cannot believe that it has been a month now. It seems like yesterday that I got the knock on the door only to find a policeman standing there. I miss you so much Cody. Do you know how much your family loved you? I will never be the same, never. I do not know how I can go on like this, the pain is so great. I hope you never felt pain like this. I know you felt rejection and at times you felt unwanted. I understand that just having me love you was not enough. But I loved you so much more than you could ever know and I always will.

Jun 10, 2010
Miss you
by: Mama

I love you and miss you Cody. Everything I do seems to remind me of you. I went shopping with Aunt Deborah and Deana. I would see things and say Cody would like that or Cody would wear that. I would buy you the world if you could just come back to me. Mama

Jun 09, 2010
Happy birthday Cody
by: Brenda

We let balloons go into the heavens and I kissed each one I let go. We had your favorite cake and ice cream. Aunt Deborah, Deana, Gary and I were here. We love you and miss you. I wish you could be here with us baby. Mama

Jun 09, 2010
Happy birthday Cody
by: Mama

Happy birthday baby, sing to the top of your lungs. Fly high and dance on the clouds. We have your favorite cake for today and some balloons so we will be celebrating with you son. I love you so much and wish so badly that I could be with you.

Jun 07, 2010
Childhood Friend
by: Anonymous

*He was remarkable in life as in death soaring with the angels..I am sure we will see him still sparkling in our realm right beside us every step of the way. HE TAUGHT ME TO BE MYSELF AT ALL COST!!! AND inspired real beauty within..that's why I loved him. Rachel

Jun 07, 2010
School Friend
by: Anonymous

Subject: for Cody
Hello Brenda, this is Randall. When I remember Cody, I remember high school and how when we hung out with our friends, he was always the one to make the excitement of being young and free just a little more fun and dramatic. He definitely didn't fit the mold in Centerville, and it was inspiring for me to be friends with him. I learned to be myself and not to "try" to fit in.
Cody made a huge impact on everyone's life, whether they know it or not. I am wise enough now to realize just how far his spirit reached through all of us.

This is an email sent to me by one of my sons' high school friends. It touched my heart and I wanted to share it.

Jun 06, 2010
I Hear & Feel your pain
by: Nadine

My son also died from Diabetes and was gay. He was my only child. He is on this site and also on It has more info about us. It's been 1 1/2 years, at many times feels like yesterday. Let your feelings go don't hide them. He was your baby.


Jun 06, 2010
Thank you for your kind words
by: Anonymous

I am sorry for your husband's loss. You are right, the mother/child bond is special. No matter what end of that bond you are on. I lost my mother when I was 15 and my father when I was 26. I thought I never could feel such pain. Then I lost a daughter when I was 21. The pain was great and it took many years to get over. She was just a day old but I loved her just as much as Cody. The difference is that Cody will be missed because we had time to become more than just mother and son, we were friends. He sometimes told me things that as his mother I would rather not know. He called me several times a day. Now my phone is silent. I will miss the lunch dates we had and the family gatherings. I hope that with time your husband as well as myself can think of our loved ones with no pain and only fond memories.

Jun 06, 2010
Angel for Cody
by: Anonymous

I am working on getting my son that angel for his marker now. I am afraid that I can not afford marble and told Cody that when we joked about it. I told him he just best not be dying. He told me if I did not get him an angel he would haunt me. I told him he better put one on layaway and live a long time cause marble angels are not cheap. We had a great time that day. Joking and enjoying each other. When I dropped him off at his apartment he came around to the drivers window of the car and kissed me bye and said I love you Mama. When I went to my daughters' house to go plan the funeral I broke down and told her to get someone to get him an angel to go in his coffin. She found one that we buried with him. It wasn't marble and it wasn't big but it was an angel.

Jun 06, 2010
cody lees mamma
by: Anonymous

I just don't know what to say to u, because nothing i say or do will make u feel any better. You have suffered such a heavy loss but u have also shared a most wonderful bond, that unconditional love that a mother has for her child. My son was born in 1982 and i see him or talk to him daily; i cannot begin to understand what ur going through.

My husband lost his dear mum Isabella belle on 5 may(also on this page) and feels such a gut wrenching pain of loss and i can share a little of that as i had known her for over 30 years. I hurt, but his loss is the loss of his mother and again like yours, an indescribable bond between a mother and her son.

Be happy that u and Cody Lee shared that wonderful bond and that even in death that bond will never be broken and he will be watching over you always xxx

Jun 06, 2010
Love never Dies
by: Anonymous

Go get that marble angle and bring it to his grave. In doing so I hope you find a special peace, as Cody now has. My heartfelt prayers are with you both.

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