Completely blindsided

by Kiki
(Clearwater)

I am 26 years old. 7 months ago the only person I've ever loved told me on a Tuesday, that he was moving to Europe to go to medical school, and on Monday, he was gone. He moved everything of his out of our apartment, and he left me there alone. I had NO idea he was thinking of leaving, I had no idea he applied to medical school, I had no idea he even wanted to be a doctor. I cannot find the words to explain how much of a devastating shock this was to me. 

His mother came in from out of town to help him pack up his life before my eyes. She was so cruel to me. I feel not only was I witnessing someone abandoning me, I was also dealing with a woman who had no compassion for me as a human. I was constantly told to stop crying, because I would make it harder for him, that I was dramatic for sobbing, and that I needed to let him do what he wants to do.  ok, but I just couldn't  understand how  I was expected to take it well that my partner was being ripped from me in a matter of days with no warning signs.

Before this, him and I met and dated for two years in high school and tried to date thru college. We only made it 1.5 years in college because he was so emotionally abusive I, (before this, a very happy young girl), became so depressed and sad that for a whole year I lived in a deep, deep haze I cannot even recall. Both of us were deeply hurt, so he ended up moving to the other side of the country to finish college which is the only way we were able to break it off. I finished college and returned to my happy normal self, and we did not speak.

2.5 years later, we started communicating and he moved back to our home town. We had both grown up immensely in our time apart and we moved in together. We lived together for three years, where we grew respect for each other and finally learned how to treat each other right. We created a completely new and healthy relationship and  talked about getting married in the future. The relationship was hard and we had to work at it, but I was fine with that. But eventually the stress of growing into independent adults with real jobs took its toll, mostly on him. Although I did everything I possibly could for him, he began to take me for granted. I in turn got mad, I yelled, i cried, i became jealous, I created even more stress for him. I began to wonder if there was someone else out there that would appreciate me more, even though I knew 100%, I could never find someone else I could ever love more than him. I did a lot of things right but I did a lot of things wrong, I see now. But in the end, I was in it for the long run. I never thought I wouldn't be with him. And now I'm not. Because while we were in the middle of working on our relationship, talking, listening,  walking the dog, spending our time together, he gave me 6 days notice and then he disappeared completely from my life.

I am better now because I have had time to think and realize that he must not have really ever loved me. If he did, he wouldn't have left me in the way that he chose to. I unfortunately think every single day, multiple times a day, about how he left me and those last few days I had with him, where I was literally in a state of shock. And now I just have no hope that I will ever find a man who  will  truly love me and who won't abandon me.

Click here to post comments

Return to Lost Relationship.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!