Conversation with My Son

Here I sit thinking of you. It's still so fresh. The pain & emptiness I feel will last a lifetime. I wonder what we would be talking today if you were here. Seems like anything that could wrong has gone wrong since you left. I feel so numb like I'm in a fog or someone elses body. I want to wake and find you sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee or coming thru the front door to sit talk to me. As quick as the days are racing by Mother's Day will be here before I know it I dread it coming because it will just remind me how much I miss you. How do we celebrate your birthday are going to be 36 yrs old forever or are you 37 yrs old ? God Jerry I wish I could bring back. I miss you son

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Feb 13, 2011
Conversation with your son
by: M Mack

I feel your pain over the loss of Jerry. I've been there, hoping he would walk in the door, look up at me from his seat at the kitchen table.... Those memories are so painful I want to scream. There is no easy way out of our grief but to keep on going through the motions. Some memories will get easier at times and some are too painful to recollect. For now, remember what you can that doesn't bring you to your knees with sadness. When you are ready, the other memories will come and you will survive them with acceptance. I will pray for you and hope your recovery over this loss comes soon.

Feb 13, 2011
My brother left us at 37 also, your not alone
by: Vic

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. My mom goes through what you endure with the loss of her oldest son, my older brother. He chose to take his life at 37 last year a day after his birthday.
There was 4 of us,my eldest sister, my brother and my younger sister.I'm the only son now and am angry why my brother did what he did to my mom and dad. He would always tell me that our sisters and I were what made our parents proud and he shamed them because he didn't succeed in academics, though he later graduated from college and landed a great career. My dad belted my brother a lot for petty things, like forgetting things or not paying attention and didn't take his A.D.D.as an excuse(my brother was always kind and giving). My dad never layed a hand on me or my sisters...ever, just my brother. My dad cries a lot now because he feels he drove my brother to his suicide. There was a lot more to my brother doing what he did than my fathers abuse to him My brother was a wonderful uncle to my daughter and my sister's children, they adored their Uncle. My brother said he was not tall as me and people told him how in the world he can be related with such beautiful sisters and a handsome brother.
He called himself the ugly duckling and never married or even dated. He said in his note he left behind he felt worthless and alone. So now,my mother does the best she can by keeping a strong face for her grandchildren and does the best on his birthday,Christmas and mother's day. It's been a year of torture for her and my family though getting somewhat easier as the days past. Sorry for the long response, your son will never be replaced...though in the end you will see him again god will see to that, god bless, Vic.

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