Coping with a loss
My dad died on September 28, 2012. It has almost been two months. He went in for lung cancer surgery at the end of August. The surgery went well, altough they found more cancer, but he pulled through. He was in ICU for two days, then moved to a regular room. He made good progress. He was in the hospital for nine days.
He got out and in two days, my sister (who is a nurse) took him back to the hospital, because he was having a hard time breathing. He was in emergency, then back to ICU. At his first surgery, they gave him a heart medicine and after a series of events, the doctors realized he had a bad reaction to the heart medication, which takes days to get out of his system. He had his good and bad days and then they had to put him on a tube to help him breath better. It was hard not to communicate with my dad and you could tell he was frustrated. He was on the vent for a week and then the doctors had to maybe come to terms what to do next. Long story short, the doctors didn't think he could recover and my sister and I and my mom made the decision to take him off the vent. The doctors lowered his sadation so he could understand us. My sister told him the bad news and you could tell he understood. He had tears in his eyes. I begged my sister and mom to give it more time for him to heal. In the end, I watched my dad dad and being taken off the vent. My husband was there, my mom, my sister and her husband. It took only twenty minutes for him to pass.
It has been very hard and I loved my dad dearly. We had a small military service for him and then went out to lunch. He was cremated and sits in my mom's living room for now.
My sister and I got necklaces that has my dad's fingerprint on it-I wear it 24/7.
It will be two months on 11/28 and with Thanksgiving coming up and Christmas, I am having a hard time. I never knew losing my dad could be so hard. So many changes and things will never be the same.
I do ok at work, but coming home I am sad and I am having a hard time being happy. I cry for no reason and It is just hard.