Count your blessings now.
(Pennsylvania, United States)
My daddy passed away on February 5th, 2012. It was so unexpected, a couple months before he suffered a stroke with swelling to his brain, my dad has multiple health problems, from having open heart surgery, was burned in a fire, he had emphysema, he was the best man I've ever met. When I was 9, him and my mother were going through a tough divorce, I'm the youngest of 5 children, and my dad got custody of us all and we moved into an apartment, not long after my mother committed suicide, but was brought back and is now in a nursing home, brain dead. My dad was a single father to 5 children, he went back to school, and he always made sure we had everything we needed. I miss him so much, and here I am, almost seven months later and I'm still numb, I can't feel anything but the pain I feel, I just want him back, I just want to wake up and have someone tell me it was all a dream, but it's not that easy. The night it happened, I wanted to run away, so far away, and I still do. He visited me in my dreams for so long and suddenly stopped. I cherish every moment we ever had together. My life is so messed up without him, but I have to continue moving forward. That's what he'd want, right? I believe I'll always cry over it and I'll never get over it. He was only 56 and all I really had left, I miss his jokes, his laugh, his smile, his encouraging words and his stories of his past. My dad suffered so much, and I just hope I'm not selfish for being angry that he died, I just want him to reassure me that everything will be okay, my whole life is upside down, and I have to rebuild it, I just wish I could see his face one last time, and give him a hug and kiss, and hear his voice....