by Gregg Maddox
(Glendale, CA USA)

This is the hardest thing I will ever have to write. I already know that the past 18 years was the pinnacle of my life. You gave my life direction and meaning. I know I will never reach the level and depth of love and joy that you blessed me with. I depended on you in so many ways that you became a part of me. Your smiling eyes, your beaming grin, your generous heart, your devotion and loyalty is unparalleled. I know you will be with me in spirit and, somehow, you will reveal the questions I've yet to ask. God blessed me with 18 years with a companion beyond anyone I could have ever expected in my life. I will always feel the sorrow of not knowing how to fix the demons that haunted you and I wish I was more forceful in making you get the attention you needed. I promise I will continue on and somehow have a good life as I know you would want me to. You were my friend, my mate, my debator, my joy, my rock, my touchstone and you were the lead in our dance. Please help me through the rest of my journey through life. I know you will let me know. I'll just have to pay close attention. Your leaving us has caused more grief, sorrow and outpouring of love I have ever seen. Wait patiently for me for I will be with you soon. Something as beautiful and pure as the love we shared has to live forever but now I must pay the price for knowing true love. You brought me out of my shell and allowed me to shine in the eyes and lives of others. I will cherish our memories and always have a part of you with me. I now see why you had to leave first because you could never been able to carry our torch alone. Your love was too strong and your poor heart was too fragile. Give my love to your sister and all of our friends you are now reunited with. It warms my heart to know your pain is gone; no more tears, no more sorrow, no more anxiety or depression. It only took one day for this to be the most devastating year of my life. But you will always be my number one. The things we taught to and learned from each other has made me a better man and I owe that to you. Please comfort my tears and share in my joys. It's so difficult to conceive a life without you and I won't forget to

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come
Let the aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead
Put crepe bows on the white necks of public doves
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves
He was my North, My South, my East and West
My working week and my Sunday rest
My moon, my midnight, my talk, my song
I thought love would last forever; I was wrong
The stars are not wanted now, put out every one
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun
Pour away the oceans and sweep up the wood
For nothing now can come to any good
I feel like a plane without any wing
I feel like a song bird unable to sing
My bedtime and awakening are all for `naught
Because it was then you were my first and last thought
So darken the mirrorball and turn up the lights
Celebrating is over. There are no more party nights
Put away the tambourines the cymbals and chimes
Then fire the rifles twenty-one times
I raise my gaze upward toward the black sky
And as a lone tear falls from my eye
I think of the question as I continue to stare
I wonder how long it will be `til I'm there?

We all know life is fleeting and death is eternal but it's in life when we feel the pain. I have to let go now; temporarily anyway. Then Halellujah! I will be with you forever. And once again I'll watch you with your wink and your smile present a bud like a fine bottle of wine and always be ever handy with your lighter for those who smoke. There is no lung cancer in paradise. So sleep peacefully my love and I'll deliver your earthly vessel to the Hawaiian surf.

Sweet dreams my angel in the sky
For now it is my turn to cry


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Mar 06, 2011
Beautiful Poem
by: ELisa Medhus, M.D.

Wow, what a gifted writer you are. It brought tears to my eyes, because I felt your pain in every phrase. I send you a warm embrace filled with love and healing.

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