Cynic visits Psychic clairvoyant
Since my wonderful husband died suddenly - less than 14 months ago- I have desperately tried to ‘find’ him again, to have some kind of connection. I can’t believe this is ’the end’! If I believe that, then why should I go on?
I need to know he is still in my life, that there is, indeed, an afterlife which lots of people advocate. I’ve constantly looked for ‘signs’ and, although I did find some initially in the forty days after his death, there were none after. I’ve been waking up each day in a void and full of doubts and uncertainties for over a year.
• Are we actually insignificant in the universe, although we want to believe otherwise?
• When someone you love deeply dies, is that really the end? Will we never see them again?
• Why are we here? Why do we have to live without our loved ones?
I’ m totally cynical. Nothing, absolutely nothing, makes sense!
I even tried to find some solace in my roots: the Catholic church. But, unlike many of you who can post with confidence about life after death, and Christian belief, I couldn’t share your confidence, however hard I tried.
And I’ve really tried, believe me! I ran back to the ‘church’ and then couldn’t cope with the hypocrisy which I perceived, yet again, in institutionalised religion.
I’ve been so envious of all of you who can overcome this...Sadly, I don’t have your strength and faith... I fell at the first hurdle!
For me, it wasn’t to be - even second time around... Guess I’m dammed?
Today - after an admittedly rash moment - I went for a ‘reading’ by a clairvoyant/ medium; tonight I feel at peace.
For the first time, since my husband died, I believe he is with and around me! Of course, there were some generalisations/ possibly good guesses? (the cynic in me acknowledges that aspect) but he told me many personal things which convinced me totally that my husband is here with me! The insight and observations could only have come from my husband.
I now believe my husband sees all and knows all that is happening to me. This has given me strength to go on.
I know this will not be acceptable for everyone and although I, too, have found it almost incredible, I now feel convinced that there is more to life than our earthly existence.
Much love to you all