Cynic visits Psychic clairvoyant

by Alassia


Since my wonderful husband died suddenly - less than 14 months ago- I have desperately tried to ‘find’ him again, to have some kind of connection. I can’t believe this is ’the end’! If I believe that, then why should I go on?

I need to know he is still in my life, that there is, indeed, an afterlife which lots of people advocate. I’ve constantly looked for ‘signs’ and, although I did find some initially in the forty days after his death, there were none after. I’ve been waking up each day in a void and full of doubts and uncertainties for over a year.

• Are we actually insignificant in the universe, although we want to believe otherwise?
• When someone you love deeply dies, is that really the end? Will we never see them again?
• Why are we here? Why do we have to live without our loved ones?

I’ m totally cynical. Nothing, absolutely nothing, makes sense!

I even tried to find some solace in my roots: the Catholic church. But, unlike many of you who can post with confidence about life after death, and Christian belief, I couldn’t share your confidence, however hard I tried.

And I’ve really tried, believe me! I ran back to the ‘church’ and then couldn’t cope with the hypocrisy which I perceived, yet again, in institutionalised religion.

I’ve been so envious of all of you who can overcome this...Sadly, I don’t have your strength and faith... I fell at the first hurdle!

For me, it wasn’t to be - even second time around... Guess I’m dammed?

Today - after an admittedly rash moment - I went for a ‘reading’ by a clairvoyant/ medium; tonight I feel at peace.

For the first time, since my husband died, I believe he is with and around me! Of course, there were some generalisations/ possibly good guesses? (the cynic in me acknowledges that aspect) but he told me many personal things which convinced me totally that my husband is here with me! The insight and observations could only have come from my husband.

I now believe my husband sees all and knows all that is happening to me. This has given me strength to go on.


I know this will not be acceptable for everyone and although I, too, have found it almost incredible, I now feel convinced that there is more to life than our earthly existence.

Much love to you all


Comments for Cynic visits Psychic clairvoyant

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Jun 17, 2013
Psychic visit
by: Cathy

Hello Alassia. Such and interesting subject you brought up. So sorry about your husband's sudden passind. My husband passed away suddenly too in July 2012. I often wondered the same thing, where is he. I want to believe he is in the place called heaven. I also am a catholic and went frequently to church over the last few years. The morning of his death I did go to church and prayed for him to accept Jesus into his life and to help with his pain as he suffered everyday with a lot of pain. Never in a million years did I think that was his last day on earth. He died that night in his sleep. I found him at 5 am. Such a horrible shock! I did notice some strange things. The volume on the tv going in and out, strange buzzing noises in the tv,...weird things like that for the first couple of months. I can't think of all of them but one sticks out in my mind. I always placed my glasses on my dresser before I went to bed at night. This dresser was directly above where he slept. We never slept together because of snoring (his and mine, lol) etc. Anyway, the one arm of my glasses had fallen off the frame, just laying there beside my glasses on the night he died. I immediately took this as a sign from him that he was on his way up towards heaven after he died. Sometimes I think maybe it was only a coincidence that the arm of the glasses just fell off on it's own, but this is just too coincidental. I have a lot of anger at God for taking my husband so soon. We were looking forward so many things with his recent retirement.
Most of the time I don't even want to go to church, but I reason that I have to go to get some kind of strength to deal with everything. I spoke to a priest about all this anger at God. He told me to be thankful for having had my husband in my life for all the years that I did and that now I was beginning my life with him spiritually. I have always believed in people having a spirit and that it continues on even after death. I do think Doreen could be right about the dark side but I don't really know anything about it and am skeptical about all of it too. But I know I would give anything if I could just be reassured that everything is okay for my husband. There was also another incident I remember after my husband died. I was in church one day about 2 months after he died, thinking of him and feeling very sad with tears in my eyes, and I swore I sensed him sitting beside me with his arm around me, I felt like I could almost see him. It immediately gave me such a good peaceful feeling. Well, if anyone has had good experiences or not with the spirit of their deceased spouse or loved one, I'm almost pretty sure that they are still around somewhere in the spirit. I wish I could talk to him once in a while, even in my dreams. I suppose everybody feels the same. Take good care of yourself and never give up.

May 28, 2013
I am perplexed
by: Disabled daughter

Dear friends, I have read all your posts and am truly perplexed.
Firstly, Doreen is obviously a religious person who has found comfort through the church, that not every person can achieve.
The people who found comfort through mediums are probably at their wits end for comfort which I can truly understand.
I am an only daughter (disabled and so was very dependent on my late mother). Mum went into a coma so I could tell her all the important things I perhaps missed. It is also very important for me to know she did not suffer when she was unable to communicate.
It would be so reassuring to speak to her again. I have had dreams where I see her beautiful face - but reassurance she is fine would be so much better.
I (unlike Doreen) do not think those who have sought solace this way are wrong. Just trying to cope with unbearable pain - not everyone has family support or friends that give this.

May 27, 2013
I'll leaved it alone
by: Anonymous

I know you are an inspiration to many here and I know you did not mean harm.
Perhaps "bursting someone's bubble" means something different in the UK than it does here in the US. Here it means "spoiling someone's illusion". Alassia and I and many others do not think that the experiences that we have had of contact from our loved ones (no matter in what form are an illusion. If they were, they would be of no use to us.
If you question this "belief" (to me it is knowledge) of ours, it is no different than us questioning your faith which is something I would never do as I see it brings you great comfort.
Keep doing the good work you do.

May 26, 2013
Taken out of context and misunderstood.
by: Doreen U.K.

Julie you have taken the expression "bursting your bubble." out of context. I am sure there are some people out there who will understand what it means in the context it was written. What I have said has been taken in a negative way. "The dark side" I express has also been taken out of context. There is a dark side. There are dangers there. Again there will be people who will also understand what I mean from experience and research.
I am happy for all of you who have had peace from your experience. Let us leave it there and not mount a witch hunt over an expression that has been taken out of context and misunderstood. Most of you will know from how I post that I am not out to harm or offend anyone.

May 25, 2013
Psychic clairvoyant
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

My late husband and myself, always felt there was a life after death. Just the miracle of the birth of a child should tell us that.
Whe his younger brother was dying from esophageal cancer 8 years ago; Jim asked my husband if he believed in a life after death. Red told Jim that, Yes he did. Jim said, so do I, and that is what is helping me through my knowing I am dying.
I had some wonderful visits from my husband. Somw were really mind boggling. I talked to my priest about them; thinking I was imagining them.He informed me that, yes they did happen. My last visit from him a few weeks ago, he told me it was beautiful in heaven and he was happy, he smiled and was gone. I have felt his arms around me, felt him flop on the bed next to me and put his arms around me, saw his face on the pillow next to me, just looking at me. I thanked him each time I felt his presence. I also thanked my God for letting me experience them. My adult children have also shared their visits from their dad with with me. It can be a little mind boggling at first, but the feeling afterward is just so amazing. Some may call me crazy, but I don't care, I know what I experienced and my priest has informed me, I am not crazy, they happened.
I am happy that you are at peace. We go on alone, but our spouses are always with us spiritually.

May 25, 2013
by: Anonymous

Thank you for starting this conversation. Your experience, my experience may be able to help someone else.

I did not go to a "dark place" to find Charlie. In fact, I did not go anywhere. He found me. He now dwells in that place of light that your religion purports to believe in. It is not a dark place at all and I will be there with him someday. I was angry with God for taking Charlie and falling away from belief when we had our experience. Now, because of it, I am back to praying. Don't worry about bursting someone's bubble, worry instead about taking AWAY what faith they may have (not to mention the comfort they have gained).


May 24, 2013
To Alassia
by: Doreen U.K.

Alassia. When I used the expression. "I don't want to burst your bubble." It is a British expression used a lot, and is not meant how it sounds. What it means is: I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL YOUR JOY. or put another way. I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL YOUR HAPPINESS FROM WHERE YOU ARE.
It is not meant to offend. I would never do this.

May 24, 2013
I wish I knew
by: Cindy (Club 27)

My son died suddenly almost 2 months ago. I have not dreamt about him. I don't know if he is here with me. I have had some signs that he is but I wonder if it is my grief playing tricks with my emotions and thoughts.
I want to believe he is with me. I so want to know he is ok and that he feels peace. But I am afraid that there is nothing. Like when you are put under for surgery there is nothing. It is a thought I can barely stand to think about. My son was 27 and to think that all of his 27 years are just gone, done, nothing, is almost unbearable.
I am not a religious woman however I am a very spiritual person. I had so many personal beliefs before my son died, now I just don't know.
If you have been to a psychic or medium or whatever and have found peace through that, then all the power to you!
If you can walk through the day feeling just a little less pain and a little more ease then it doesn't matter how you got there as long as you did.
No one should ever be judged for how they deal with grief and how they are getting through it. My grief is such a roller coaster ride that I never know from one hour to the next if I will make it through the day without going insane.
If my son came to me through a psychic reading (tempted but too soon) or in a dream or even in the wind, I would take it and hang on to it forever.
My heart is grateful for anyone who can help a grief stricken person feel comfort or peace, even if just for awhile.

Hugs to all,

May 23, 2013
I don't "believe", I KNOW
by: Anonymous


It has been about 13 months since my Charlie died. I was very lucky to have signs from him early on but truthfully, even so, I wanted to end it all. The pain was so great.
Last September, I too visited a medium. Charlie was definitely there with me that day. No amount of research or guessing would have let the medium know the things he told me.

Now I know Charlie is around me all the time and that we will be together again. It has kept me alive. It's a knowledge that does not solve everything, but I am so glad you had the experience. Every time I hear of another grieving widow(er) who has had contact from their loved one, it validates my experience.
I wish you peace. Julie

May 23, 2013
by: Anonymous

There are many books and testimonies about near death experiences. The latest are "Billy Fingers", "Proof of Heaven" and " Dying to be me". These books have helped me greatly coping with the passing of my wife last year. I would recommend them.
Any questions contact Michael at hmbroker@yahoo. com

May 23, 2013
Me too
by: Anonymous

You have exactly the same questions I have had.
I drive myself crazy with wondering where did they go? are they still around us? is life just being born and then we become nothing?
Like you in the first few months I thought I was getting signs, but on reflection I now wonder whether it was my intense grief that was making me want to beleive at the time.
I can't do the religeon thing either, tried it. I was rasied a christian but I have a problem beleiveing the Bible is the word of God. It was written by humans. It is more like a rule book for a society thousands of years ago to me to try and keep some sort of law and order.
And when it comes to clairvoyants and readings I feel, well if my partner wanted to make contact with me he wouldn't have to go through someone else to reach me. There is no one more open than me to his connection from the otherside if it were possible.
My partner talked to me right up until his last breath. I can't accept he just turned into nothing at that moment. One minute talking and communicating with me and then turn into nothing?
It's torture having this going on all of the time in my mind.
As you say if thee is no after life and we are just meat and bones what's the point in going on or being here then.
The meaning of life. It's a tough one. Part of me feels that no one here is meant to know. If we knew I guess it would be like getting the answers before you sit the test. And I also tend to believe that if there is a God and he wanted us to know, we would "all" know without doubt, not just a chosen few.
I'm left with my chosen belief that he is with me in spirit and that we must be more than just our bodies.
So many questions. It doesn't seem fair.

May 23, 2013
Cynic visits clairvoyant
by: Alassia


Like you, I can’t begin to explain my experience. All I can say is it was real and the visit broke down all the barriers I had.

I had no idea what to expect. Before going, I thought I may have been subjected to having to listen to ‘predictions’ or comments about ‘past lives’- which I would have had real difficulty in accepting. I think I went with an open, if undoubtedly sceptical, mind.

Subsequently, I had direct contact with my husband! And, surprisingly, also with my Mum who died 14 years ago. I was so sceptical that I relayed the message from Mum to my niece who investigated and verified the current information I gave her – 2,000 miles away.

The messages were too direct and personal to ignore.

I don’t see this as ‘dabbling in the occult’ at all. Such expressions have negative connotations in our language and, as we know, language can obviously be used to manipulate and influence people.

Religious people subscribe to an afterlife; if non- religious people also have evidence/ experience of an after-life, I fail to understand how this can be dismissed as visiting the ‘dark side’, with all the negative implications this implies.


I wasn’t brave at all! Far from it. But it was a very positive experience. Now, I can believe that your Mike is definitely around you, as your son says.


Thank you, but I don’t believe I’m in ‘a bubble’ that anyone can burst. If, as you say, ‘God will set his face against anyone going into the realm of the Occult’, I have to say, I don’t see it that way. Faith in the afterlife, whether from religious belief or from another source, is equally valid, is it not? Each to their own solace/verification, whether through ‘faith’ or evidence, I believe is acceptable.


My words can’t explain the experience. My husband died suddenly, aged 56, after two weeks’ illness. All I can say is, after just over a year, I now know he is with me! I hope you find this, too.

Alassia x

May 23, 2013
I don't "believe", I KNOW
by: Anonymous


It has been about 13 months since my Charlie died. I was very lucky to have signs from him early on but truthfully, even so, I wanted to end it all. The pain was so great.
Last September, I too visited a medium. Charlie was definitely there with me that day. No amount of research or guessing would have let the medium know the things he told me.

Now I know Charlie is around me all the time and that we will be together again. It has kept me alive. It's a knowledge that does not solve everything, but I am so glad you had the experience. Every time I hear of another grieving widow(er) who has had contact from their loved one, it validates my experience.
I wish you peace. Julie

May 23, 2013
Cynic visits Psychic clairvoyant
by: Doreen U.K.

Alassia You have been distraught for some time and found no Peace and so you felt you had to see a Clairvoyant "Spirit Medium". No it isn't for everyone. I don't want to burst your bubble.
I am so happy for you to have found Peace and able to move on with your life and realise a freedom in yourself to now move on with your life. My sister did what you did also when her son committed suicide and she wasn't at peace. She also saw a Clairvoyant. I understand it but don't agree with this realm because of the dangers of consulting spirit mediums.
I just wanted to address your need to go this route because of the hypocrisy you found in the church. I was once thinking like this. It is normal. But I found out that we are all sinners struggling to make it right and live a better life. But because we all have different inherent behaviours it is the hypocrisy in us that God is dealing with and trying to change within mankind. We therefore shouldn't damn the belief in God because of Hypocrisy in people. The hypocrites are struggling to change and some take years which is why we are not supposed to look at people. But look to God who is Perfect. he is our Source. The more we look to God we see our own failings and imperfections and so see the need to change. This is the work of a lifetime. We don't come to God and then look at the people and then say it is not for us. There will always be evil people, hypocrites and sinners. We have to dwell together till God comes back and sorts it all out. There will always be an Omnipotent mystery about God we won't know because we have a carnal nature. But I think it is wonderful when God saves a person from a way of life that was destructive. God Heals us from our Sorrow and Grief. I am just so sorry that you didn't have such a good experience in life as a Catholic to create this Hope and Peace you needed to find for yourself without going to the other side to find this Peace you needed. I can speak boldly because I know of the dark side. I was rescued from it. I therefore am bound by what the Bible says. God will set his face against anyone going into the realm of the Occult. I paid for what my anscestors did but thankful God brought me out of this into the light. I don't wish to offend you or take away your Joy. But if I thought you were in danger I would also want to rescue you so you wouldn't be hurt. It is so lovely to hear you feeling so positive and happy and I hope this will continue for the rest of your life. Be Happy. Be at Peace. Best wishes.

May 23, 2013
by: John Pitts

I'm envious of you? Wish I had this experience with a psychic. I dunno. What exactl is this? I am still stick at the first Hurdle as you were. It's been 1 yr and a few weeks for me since loosing Mark, suddenly.

May 23, 2013
Hopefully our loved ones are around us.
by: June

Your post is so very interesting. Just like you, my thoughts are, if this is all there is, what is the use to go on? I haven't had faith, but when Mike died I really wanted to believe something, anything, wanted a sign. Religion hasn't been any help for me, actually the more I studied the more I couldn't believe.

Something did happen a couple of weeks ago, I was playing cards and looked up and my plant hanger was swaying, no drafts or windows/doors open, I thought it was an earthquake but nothing else was moving. I looked at the clock and it was 9:11am on a Thursday. The hanger swung for 6 minutes! Mike passed away at 9:11am on Thursday, March 8, 2012. I really want to think that it was him around me...I was playing the same solitare card game he used to play in the morning. With that happening it gave me a nice feeling, made me feel that Mike is around me. Our youngest son says his Dad is always with him. I miss him so very much.
Very interested in your experience with the medium
and the hopeful meaning he/she gave to you. I don't think I'm brave enough to go to one.

Thinking of you, and I know it isn't getting any easier.


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