Dad and Everything After
I lost my Dad last July--he was 86 so had enjoyed a full life. The last 4 months of his life were hard to watch--he had leukemia and it finally "took him down". He had been on oxygen tank for about a year when he went into a nursing home from the hospital. After a month or so there, they sent him home on "hospice". I'll never forget the phone call from the nurse asking me about "advanced directives" for my father. It came as a total shock--even though he and my Mom had made several emergency trips to the hospital over the last 5 years. Perhaps that's why--suddenly the reality that this time was different was concrete. So Dad died after 4 months of being bedridden and increasingly weak. He was horribly thin when he died--I think he couldn't have been more than 100 pounds--and he had been a 6 foot tall man in his prime. Dad and Mom were together for 60 years, and this is taking quite a toll on my Mother who is 82 years old. She slid out of bed and broke her arm the Thanksgiving after Dad's death, and has been bedridden ever since. Her dementia is worse by the day; we finally put her in a hospice in May (10 mos after Dad's death) so that she can get proper, professional care. In March, my Uncle passed away (he was 94 and it was imminent after internal bleeding they could not operate on as he was too old.) And then my ex-fiancee died about 15 days after that. I was still friends with him, and this was quite shocking and saddening as he was only 66 years old. I was regretting not making a life with him, etc. etc. Now last Sunday I found out my sister (55 years old)has stage 4 terminal breast cancer. And Mom has only about 6 months also--she is now on hospice too. Oh and the cherry on the cake--my job that I have been at for 11 years is ending--we just had a conference call today saying the closings will occur from October to December this year. So...only the first 3 deaths have "sunk in" really--everything else is just too much and of course they have not happened yet so of course it's not "real" yet. I am hoping this will be the worst year of my life, as I cannot imagine bearing a worse one. Thanks for listening.