Dad died of lung cancer

Hi my name is Shirley to cut a long story short my dad had lung cancer symptoms but it was to late to be saved it had gone to far he had chemo he lived me me my husband and children when we found this out and oh my god I can't tell you how close we all where I was a daddy's girl and he was the love of my life I loved him more than anybody,anyway he got a clot in his lung and died three weeks later,it's been me year since he died and still even now when I open my eyes in the morning the first thing I think of is him and I get that horrid sinking feeling back again I feel like I just can't go on without him I wouldn't do anything silly but just wanted to ask if its normal to still feel like this after a year thank you for your help xxxxx

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Oct 23, 2012
Dad died of lung cancer
by: Doreen U.K.

Hi Shirley, I am sorry for your loss of your Dad from lung cancer. My husband died from lung cancer 5 months ago. We were married 44yrs. My husband had MESOTHELIOMA (lung cancer caused by working with asbestos, incurable, inoperable, and aggressive. I nursed my husband for 3yrs39days. A miracle he lived so long with an aggressive cancer. He died slowly in terrible pain. His LOSS is the worst thing that could happen in my life. I don't know how long my grief will last. All I can say is that if anyone is struggling with their grief and not moving forward it would help if they tried some grief counselling. Once you get past the pain the counselling work will kick in and you will start to feel better.
Lung cancer is the hardest cancer to detect and it is usually too late by the time it is diagnosed. Because of the high cost of healthcare today the medical services seem to scale down the level of care to what is cost effective. Here in England some people don't get the cancer drug to prolong life if they live in an area where that health authority is not able to meet the cost from their budget. This drug would then be denied to them. It would work the same way if an operation was going to be too expensive.
I think of my husband first waking moment and I cry. I then get upset if I discover a paper with his writing on this, or something that is connected to him. All these triggers continue to affect our grief and could prolong this. I wouldn't worry about putting a time limit on your grief. You will know when the Healing process has started and when it gets less.

Oct 21, 2012
Dad Died of lung cancer
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

I am so sorry. I called you Cindy. I guess I am reading too any posts. Please forgive me.
The important thing is I care about how you are feeling and even though we've mever met, I CARE ABOUT YOU!

Oct 21, 2012
Dad Died of lung cancer
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Cindy,
You asked if it was normal to feel the way you do. My husband is gone 15 months and I feel he took a part of me with him. Our journey of grief is like a roller coaster ride; many ups and downs. We all grieve differently and there isn't a time limit on our grief. We all deal with our loss at different pace. There is no doing it right or wrong. Our grief is our own.
Having a support system is helpful in dealing with our grief. I joined a grief support group through my church and that helped me alot. I was with others who understood how I was feeling.
I will never really get over the loss of my husband. I just am learning how to go on without him. I cherish the memories and keep him in my heart. I cannot keep dwelling on his death, yet remember it like it was yesterday. Some days are better than others. My tears are not as frequent, yet they can come at any time.
My adult children tell me the day their dad died, they felt the world stopped. They said, it didn't, life still kept going. They say our life has changed since his death and things will never be the same. They are right, things will never be the same without their dad, but he would want us to enjoy life. I too wanted to die when he died, but realize I have to go on living for our family.
My husband died from a massive heart attack and I think of the quality of life he would have had and he wouldn't want to slowly die. God was a loving God and took him quickly. We who are left behind, hurt, because we have lost someone precious to us. They are physically gone, but their spirit lives on. I see my husband in our children and that makes me smile.
Your father is with you. Both of my parents are gone. My mom died 36 years ago. I was 29. My dad died 6 years ago, I was 59. I took both of their deaths hard. My mom was 50 and my dad was 83. I keep them tucked safely in my heart, as you will also.
Talk to them. I talk to my parents and husband daily. Only some one who has experienced our loss understands.
God Bless!

Oct 21, 2012
thinking of you
by: Syl

Hi Shirley,

I lost my mom a little over 8 months ago. I think of her every day. I think of her first thing in the morning and I still weep. I was incredibly close with my mom as you were with your dad. She was my advocate and truly loved me unconditionally. She was the only person in the world who knew absolutely everything about me and still loved every bit of me. In a sense, she loved me more than I love myself.
Everybody is different with grieving and mourning. I hope that you find one day some sort of reconciliation of your life without your father but that you may never forget him nor stop loving him. Know that you are not alone.


Oct 21, 2012
Mom died of kidney cancer
by: Novi

Hi Shirley,

I'm Novi and it will be one year on November 9th that my mom finally lost her battle to renal cell cancer. It's so hard to watch someone you love deteriorate like that, I'm sorry for your loss! I still think of my mom every single day. I still feel that sinking feeling you describe - that makes me just want to give up... but like you I could never do something silly either. I just remind myself that her dying wish was for her children to live the best life we can, without her. She told me it would be hard, but I promised her I would.

I think it's normal to feel that way after a year. Everyone grieves differently and at a different pace. My entire life has changed in a year... it's only 365 days. The day she died is still fresh in my mind, as though she had passed away yesterday.

Take care

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